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Some funny-ass quotes. LOL

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  • Some funny-ass quotes. LOL

    Rep me if u like 3;-)3


    There are only 10 types of people in the world:
    Those who understand binary, and those who don't. - Anon

    There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
    There is another theory which states that this has already happened. - Douglas Adams

    Beezlebub has a devil for a sideboard! - Jasper Carrot, during a live performance

    What's a geriatric? A german footballer scoring three goals. - Bob Monkhouse

    Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
    They charged one and let the other one off. - Tommy Cooper

    Duct tape is like the Force.
    It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. - Carl Zwanzig

    You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. - Rowan Atkinson

    It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen

    There are only 10 types of people in the world:
    Those who understand binary, and those who don't. - Anon

    Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes.
    After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

    Not all chemicals are bad.
    Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

    Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. - Steven Wright

    To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

    I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Dave Edison

    What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
    Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck. - Anon

    A fine woman is like a fine wine: expensive! - RaceProUK

    Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver. - Robert Paul

    It is white. - George W. Bush, when asked what the White House was like by a student in East London

    Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills? - Steven Wright

    Man who go to sleep with itchy bum wake up with stinky finger. - Proverb

    Man who eat prunes get good run for money. - Proverb

    The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected. - Will Rogers

    There's no place like 127.0.0.1. - Anon

    The toilets at a local police station have been stolen.
    Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Barker

    When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up... what did he go back to? - Bob Monkhouse
    My last.fm profile

  • #2
    that's cool. there're like 200 more dumb quotes bei george bush though.
    complete Eminem Discography

    Eminem's gotta cuss in his raps to sell records, well me too, so fuck Will Smith. - Jimmy Pop, BHG

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