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On the Motorway today

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  • On the Motorway today

    While I was driving down the A19 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked:
    "Runway too short?"
    To which I replied, "I'm late for work".
    To which he asked, "What do you do?"
    "I'm a rectum stretcher", I responded.
    The copper was surprised and confused "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
    "Well" I said, " I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I get my other hand in, and then I slowly start to stretch the hole, until it's about six feet."
    Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six foot asshole?"
    To which I politely replied," You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....."
    Speeding ticket: 60.00

    Court costs: 45

    Look on copper's face: Priceless
    Vets > Norms

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