HIP HOP LIFESTYLE

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some quotes

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  • some quotes

    ~You're slower than a heard of turtles stampeeding through peanut-butter.

    ~How to impress a woman?
    -compiment her, kiss her, tease her, hug her, hold her, love her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, trust her, stand by her, go to the ends of the earth for her...

    How to impress a man?
    -show up naked, bring beer.

    ~And god said 'let there be vodka' and he saw that it was good. then he said 'let there be light' and he said 'woah, too much light.'

    ~You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

    ~When I read about the evil's of drinking, i gave up reading.

    ~man standing naked in front of a mirror: 'two inches more and i'd be king!' Wife: 'two inches less and you'd be queen'.

    ~Join the Army, visit exotic places, meet new people, then kill them all. (killbarne
    Looking at my own reflection
    When suddenly it changes
    Violently it changes
    Oh no, There is no turning back now
    You've woken up the demon ... in me

    (helpsmili

  • #2
    Re: some quotes

    Originally posted by Nutterbutt
    [BHow to impress a man?
    -show up naked, bring beer.

    ~And god said 'let there be vodka' and he saw that it was good. then he said 'let there be light' and he said 'woah, too much light.'

    ~You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

    ~When I read about the evil's of drinking, i gave up reading.
    [/B]
    lol funny shit:D
    ... it's no surprise, that I got lost in your brown eyes ...

    Comment


    • #3
      GOOD * BAD * WORSE n
      Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.
      Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it.
      Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other.
      Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser. Worse: He looks better than you.
      Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism. Worse: As a sacrifice.
      Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer.
      Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: For another woman.
      Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: To enter a convent.
      Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting. Worse: She implicates you.
      Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad: You're arrested. Worse: By your husband.
      Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47.
      Good: The secretary said "yes." Bad: Your wife says "no."
      Good: The teacher likes your son. Bad: Sexually. Worse: He's gay.
      Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: So did the postman.
      Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: Your wife walks in.
      Good: You get a three-day weekend. Bad: You get the flu on Friday.
      Good: You get tickets to the theatre. Bad: It's performance art.
      Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.
      Good: Your boyfriend's exercising. Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
      Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas." Bad: For real.
      Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right". Bad: Your son, that is.
      Good: Your daughter's on the Pill. Bad: She's eleven.
      Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.
      Good: Your son's doing extra credit work. Bad: Making a sex ed video.
      Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune. Bad: It's counterfeit.
      Good: Your wife bought a porn video. Bad: Your daughter's the star.
      Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. Bad: You live downtown.
      Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude. Bad: She's coming home.
      Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of them

      Comment

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