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rude and politically incorrect jokes

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  • rude and politically incorrect jokes

    1) Bill and Jean were sitting on the bench outside the country pub watching a bull humping a cow in the paddock across the road.

    "Gee, I'd like to be doing' what that bull is doin'," said Bill.

    "Why don't you," said Jean, "It's your cow."

    2) "Doctor, I'm getting married tomorrow and I don't know much about men. Can I ask you a question?"

    "Certainly, Miss, go ahead."

    "I saw my fiance with his pants off last night and hanging between his legs he's got a great big dic..."

    "Organ, Miss! It's called an Organ!"

    "Call it what you like, Doc, it looks like a clarinet to me."

    3) Why does a male elephant have four feet?

    Because six inches would never satisfy a female elephant.

    4) Diana and Barbara were in the shopping center.

    "There's my husband, coming out of the florist with a dozen roses. That means I'm going to have to keep my legs up in the air for three days," said Diana.

    "Why?" asked Barbara, "Don't you have a vase?"

    5) A woman walked into a sex shop and asked to buy a vibrator. The shop assistant beckoned with his finger and said, "Can you come this way."

    The woman replied, "If I could come that way, I wouldn't need a vibrator."

    6) Jacko and Joe, two big brawny bouncers, were walking home from a late night out when Jaclko said, "When I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's undies off."

    "Why's that?" asked Joe.

    "Coz the elastic is killing me," he replied.
    Be more concerned with your character than your reputation... Your character is who you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

  • #2
    i like #5, pretty funny
    "This is paradise, I'm tellin' ya. This town like a great big pussy jus' waitin' to get fucked."

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    • #3
      Yeah 5 Is Fuuny

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      • #4
        I like #5 the best. Good jokes.
        +ALL FATES HAVE CHANGED+ NOW UR IN A +POOL OF BLOOD+,
        JUST ASK +JUS ALLAH+ & +ALLAH JUSTICE+ THEY KNO Y I'M COVERED IN MUD!/

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        • #5
          i like 4
          Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.

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          • #6
            LMAO @ #3 and #6
            "The world is changing and there are new opportunities for those who are ready to join forces with those who are stronger and more experienced" -Lucky Luciano (1897-1962)

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            • #7
              lol at 5
              q

              [SIZE=1][B]
              [COLOR=DimGray]l
              43-2-35

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              • #8
                Some messed up jokes

                These are some F*cked up jokes so if u dont like that sh*t dont read um haha heres the link F*cked up Jokes here are some highlights

                Man walks into a pharmacy, says to the pharmacist "I need a box of condmons for my 11 year old daughter."
                "Your 11 year old daughter is sexually active?" - pharmacist
                "No, she just lies there like her mother." - guy

                How do you make a five year-old girl cry twice?
                Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear

                whats the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
                after you drop a load in a washing machine it doesnt follow you around for the next 9 months

                How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
                When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

                Why do women have smaller feet than men?
                It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

                What's the worst part about having AIDS?
                Leaving your friends behind!

                Whats brown and can be found in childrens undewear?
                Michael Jacksons hand.
                Eh? His hand is white, isn't it?
                When it goes in.


                ya some of them are racist too so dont click on the link if your easily offended or even not that easily offended b/c some are so racist they arnt even funny sry any if I offended any women just Jokes haha dont really believe that sh*t
                I sold my soul to the Devil cuz the price was cheap...

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