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i need help improving good people preferred i wanna get better check this please

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  • i need help improving good people preferred i wanna get better check this please

    yall i need some help....i want sum GOOD people to tell me how i kan improve please cause i wanna get better so heres a song i wrote called MAKING IT.........so leave feed please and give help ~uno~

    VERSE 1
    i come out late at nights to give frights and blind ya sight
    cant see me there aint no lights so take this invite as a fight
    pissed off at the earth been haten on it since my day of birth
    as i lurch through the city i search to kill somone of what they lifes worth
    my mind twitches the reason i do this shit is to fuck up all the whack bitches
    so i expose my riches cause life itches in they minds weneva they life switches
    rock a sweater all the time so fuck the weather its wether or not i release this lever
    cause ive gotten a whole lot better since my last kill so take this as a murder letter
    im stronger than ever so watch where your'e walking cause i kome without warning
    keep your eyes open after every corner cause the next thing is your heart ill be storing
    so try and not get into my path or im gonna kill yo ass so fast it wont bring back the past
    this will last as long as i go full blast yall aint ready for me this is just a sample of my wrath

    (CHOROUS)
    i hate everything so im always walking and stalking it
    people think they talk hard when they is only talking shit
    so im here to remind yall that no more am i taking shit
    yall kan keep talkin bout hot careers when your'e mistaking it
    cause on the real yall what ive seen im the only one making it

    VERSE 2
    let me tell you a story of when i was following this person home from work
    i put a knife in him that hung out like an ambilical cord after birth
    it was crazy cause i was laughing and rapping at the same time
    stoles his bills and dimes spread out his red slime over the scene of the crime
    that was just a quick now let me tell yall what upsets me the most
    how friends say they close but stab you in the back outta nowhere like a ghost
    i hate how people kome onto freestylen but people say they suck before they begun
    hatin how they kan you send you to war at eightteen but kant drink till twenty one
    so as i expose all of those things i hate the most i still got one more for this closer
    face it im a true music composer but i hate how people try and rap when they posers


    (CHOROUS)


    just a lil quick song i decided to do....changed it up alot in there...uppin...........and tell me what you think of song and how i kan improve right now? im given rep points for any kind of feed....uppin
    and that is
    ~Lyrical Bloodz~





    when you hear the bottle top pop off you know im coming
    the sound in the backround aint the beat its the people running

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