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  • Listen... Please..

    www.soundclick.com/snyper0512
    www.myspace.com/mcsnype05

    Andrew 'Superman' Davis (Tribute)

    Kid always wore a superman book bag, thus creating his own nickname. My best friend from the day we met, 6 1/2 years ago. We did so many things together in that little time, and still, I feel I could'a done more.
    If God gave me the chance to swap lives, I don't know if I'd do it. Andrew is in a better place now, and he deserves that, but this world is so cold without him.

    Please leave appropriate feed. I know between Verse 1 and 2, it took me about 13 takes to get it down, 'cause I couldn't complete it entirely without breakin' down.
    I got the DVD of your wife gettin killed and raped,
    and everybody peeped it like the Sharon Hilton tape.



    CLiCK HERE:
    http://theurbanblock.com/forum/



    !!Sick -&- Twisted!!
    Records

  • #2
    R.I.P. to your friends.

    About the track, and only honest replys will help u further: nice lyrics, but nothing special. Some lines dont seem to flow to well. Try making every line about the same size in the beginning, flows easier. Your voice is fine if u can flow better and up your lyrics you can create better stuff. this sounds sorda dull.

    greetings and keep doing ur thing.
    Profile, been buckwild with my style for a while!

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks for feed on the track. I got alot of condolences, which are openly accepted, but alot of people forgot to let me know how the track was.
      I got the DVD of your wife gettin killed and raped,
      and everybody peeped it like the Sharon Hilton tape.



      CLiCK HERE:
      http://theurbanblock.com/forum/



      !!Sick -&- Twisted!!
      Records

      Comment


      • #4
        R.I.P, sorry to hear about this, dude.

        This was an alright track. The beat was really good, nice and deep. Lyrics were cool, had alot of emotion and meaning put into them, had me feeling your pain. But at times, some things could have been worded a bit better to have more of an impact. Your voice sounded good over the beat too, nice presence. Sometimes felt like your vocals could be a little bit lower and more compressed to make the volume more even throughout the verses.
        Like Profile said, your flow could have been a bit smoother, there were parts where it was too jumpy, and you tried a bit too hard to stretch the words to make them hit the beat. Made the flow sound forced, ya know?
        But no doubt, this shit was emotional, and I enjoyed listening to it. Keep it up.
        If you find the time, swing by my thread and drop feedback on a track or two, would mean alot: http://board.rapbasement.com/showthread.php?t=351744
        One Of Aussie's Finest Youth
        http://www.myspace.com/jddamc
        http://www.soundclick.com/jddamc

        Comment


        • #5
          Yo, rest in peace to your friends bro. Shit in life can be real fucking scary, eh?

          Lyrics are good for what they are. Nothing super lyrical, but you know what I mean.

          The flow is pretty fucked up though. I think you should actually flow and make it go smoother (It depends.). I mean, instead of just saying shit while just trying to construct it to the beat without actually flowing, maybe try letting your shit actually flow naturally over the beat, but while writing your lyrics, actually try to have a set flow instead of just writng your lyrics down. And actually write to a beat that's playing.

          I noticed callbacks can really help as well. It can be looked at as one line hitting one snare and the one next to it hitting three snares and it all adds up to four snares like the usual two lines would hit. Listen to "A Perfect Circle" by Louis Logic and pay attention to where the snares hit while a line is rapped.

          Or you can just pause for a half a bar (It doesn't matter if you pause before of after the first snare.) Listen to "Beautiful" by Masta Ace.

          Or you can switch up where the rhymes hit (Callbacks are an an example as well). Listen to Immortal Techniques verse on "Never Know Why." He switches up where the rhymes hit when he spits "could buy comfort and peace for the righteous. I survived disease." "Righteous" doesn't hit the end of the line, but the first of two snares that hit during that line. He continues to put rhymes only in the middle (Except for the parts with "glocoma" and "coma")of the lines instead of at the end for a few lines before he switches back. Even though they're the middle of the lines, they actually sound like the ends of the lines to the untrained ear.

          So yeah, maybe try to mix it all up and do it as much as you want. Maybe try different rhythms for different lines, but you don't have to do it constantly if you don't want to. It's your own style, but I'm just giving suggestions.

          Peace.
          P!

          Comment


          • #6
            tnankz for the extended feed. Was great. Mosh, I'll try to get to those pieces soon.
            I got the DVD of your wife gettin killed and raped,
            and everybody peeped it like the Sharon Hilton tape.



            CLiCK HERE:
            http://theurbanblock.com/forum/



            !!Sick -&- Twisted!!
            Records

            Comment


            • #7
              Lyrics were deep...all you really need for this kinda track...RIP

              I think you coulda used a lil' more emotion too, seeing how this was a super tragic event...like...instead of whispering or sumthin'...

              Flow was choppy as hell....idk...just count the syllables out more carefully and when your first startin' out...just hit the snares...

              sorry for the loss...

              Return Feed Please:
              http://board.rapbasement.com/showthread.php?t=352618
              Download my new mixtape "Public Axis Vol. 1" http://www.sendspace.com/file/7527jn
              New Beats: www.soundclick.com/axisproductions
              Mixing/Mastering available! PM for details.

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