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Suddenly Silent

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  • Suddenly Silent

    www.globalemcee.com/jamroom/axis

    Should be song 1.

    Beat - eXimus

    Little story, just lookin for opinions, good or bad.

    I wake to hear voices, but not in my head
    It's the voice of my mom like someone was shot dead
    So I peer thru a crack in the door
    What's he smackin' her for? Why the reason he attackin' her more?
    I was still to young to understand...and fight back
    Why a man hit a woman with his hand like that
    Blood drippin from her nose, gettin' on her close
    She tried to stand up but he was hittin her as she arose
    I suppose I'm the reason why, she put up with his shit
    His job put food on the plater for her and I
    I know she hurt inside livin' a wothless life
    turning worse every night
    put a pillow over head so I could sleep with no fear
    No need to hear the sounds of her shriekin in my ear
    Dad drink another beer...his fist araises
    Mom covers me up as he hits our faces

    Hook:
    Always screamin at my mom from the top of his lungs
    tellin' me I was shit, so I aske this chump
    Why don't you love my mother? show no violence...
    Act like a father...he was suddenly silent

    Years go by as tears are cried
    I can't remember a day without fear inside
    But i'm comin' of age, and I'm pumpin' with rage
    As my mom is still bludgend from him clubbin' her face
    As I work up the courage to stand in her place
    Pushin' my chest out, and my hands are out to brace
    Never again will you touch her, the last time you rougher
    I'm standin' up now cuz last time I was younger
    If you hit her again bitch! I'm killin' you dead bitch!
    Raise ya fist again it's gonna sign ya death wish!
    No more games, till I die I'll protect her
    I won't ever again let you molest her
    He took a step towards me evil in his eyes
    I cocked my arm back, took a swing for the skies
    Connect with his chin...wasn't even tryin'
    For the first time in years, he was suddenly silent

    Hook:
    Always screamin at my mom from the top of his lungs
    tellin' me I was shit, so I aske this chump
    Why don't you love my mother? show no violence...
    Act like a father...he was suddenly silent
    Last edited by Axis; 06-27-2008, 05:46 AM.
    Download my new mixtape "Public Axis Vol. 1" http://www.sendspace.com/file/7527jn
    New Beats: www.soundclick.com/axisproductions
    Mixing/Mastering available! PM for details.

  • #2
    nice work on this one

    flows to the beat perfectly, message is strong as fuck

    real nice piece man
    “If you keep coming back that only means you know you lost the fight...
    But their pride just won’t let em, insides like go get em
    and I’m just like, why you trying to fight momentum” EMINEM

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks fore listening man.
      Download my new mixtape "Public Axis Vol. 1" http://www.sendspace.com/file/7527jn
      New Beats: www.soundclick.com/axisproductions
      Mixing/Mastering available! PM for details.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hey man.... I seen this thread and just thought I'd drop feedback in here.

        You sound solid man. Only advice I could give is don't cram too much in your bars, allow some room so you can put some swag to it. Definitely have the ability to tell a story with the pen and that's huge. A few mixing issues but nothing serious.

        So what are you doing with it? Working on an album or a mixtape to try to get yourself out there???

        If so hit me up if you need anything aright, always looking to work with local acts...

        Also, You said in my thread you wanna try and do the singing thing... I checked One More - You do some singing on that one. You sound like I used to, you're using effects and doubles to hide your voice because you're not confident with it. Just start recording some shit for yourself, don't upload em or anything... start listening to pop and alternative joints to practice the singing, you'll be surprised how quick you grow... Because you obviously have rhythm and tone awareness... You got a good sound though, ton of potential... Keep growing. Get ahold of me whenever dude
        -
        And to these N** I'm like Windows 7, you let em tell it they swear they invented you.

        Comment


        • #5
          You got the lyrics?
          P!

          Comment


          • #6
            Only thing I can think of is you sound like you're too quiet

            like you're going to wake someone up in the other room if you go any louder.

            scream that shittt

            Comment


            • #7
              ^^
              ACtually, you're about right haha. I did this for a contest, and couldn't record till the day before it was due, and it was later at night. Was trying to be respectful for the roomies haha.

              Propz.

              And Ill Wayz. I've made up a few mixtapes...looking to try and make an actual album eventually here, but can't seem to find a good studio around (maybe I haven't looked hard enough haha). I've done a few local shows...opening for people and what not. And I just found a spot in Easttown that has open mic nights on Monday, so I might start hittin' that up. Thanks for all the feed man.
              Download my new mixtape "Public Axis Vol. 1" http://www.sendspace.com/file/7527jn
              New Beats: www.soundclick.com/axisproductions
              Mixing/Mastering available! PM for details.

              Comment


              • #8
                ^Dude hit me up whenever with those beats you're feeling so we can make some real shit

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by pandemic View Post
                  You got the lyrics?
                  Yeap.
                  Download my new mixtape "Public Axis Vol. 1" http://www.sendspace.com/file/7527jn
                  New Beats: www.soundclick.com/axisproductions
                  Mixing/Mastering available! PM for details.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Just listened. I think the flow sounds like fits over the fast beat, but it's kinda hard for me to tell if every syllable hits the hi-hats and shit. That's just me though. The story is dope.

                    Peace.
                    P!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      ^^
                      I highly doubt they all do, seeing as how I wasn't going for that haha. Thanks for the listen.
                      Download my new mixtape "Public Axis Vol. 1" http://www.sendspace.com/file/7527jn
                      New Beats: www.soundclick.com/axisproductions
                      Mixing/Mastering available! PM for details.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by pandemic View Post
                        Just listened. I think the flow sounds like fits over the fast beat, but it's kinda hard for me to tell if every syllable hits the hi-hats and shit. That's just me though. The story is dope.

                        Peace.

                        lol wtf?
                        And to these N** I'm like Windows 7, you let em tell it they swear they invented you.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Axis - Even if you weren't, I don't think it would be very hard to do since they are rapidly there non stop

                          Ill Wayz - I really don't know if it's a requirement, but maybe from a perfectionist's point of view, it would be best... Eminem trys to have a perfect flow by doing that shit...
                          P!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            ^
                            No such thing as perfect flow, and I'm not Eminem haha
                            Download my new mixtape "Public Axis Vol. 1" http://www.sendspace.com/file/7527jn
                            New Beats: www.soundclick.com/axisproductions
                            Mixing/Mastering available! PM for details.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              eminem hitting every hi hat was his worst decision ever.

                              he had to sacrifice content to do it.

                              im all for rapping as an instrument not a speech, cuz thats wack, but there needs to be a balance

                              Comment

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