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looking out my window (im waiting for feedback)

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  • looking out my window (im waiting for feedback)

    Im looking out my window staring in the dark//
    on the outside i look peacefull but inside it is war//
    im thinkin bout the pistol that ive hidden in my drawer//
    i decided it will not stay in there no more//
    because some mothafucker really crossed the line//
    hitting on a girl even though he knows shes mine//
    im searching my collection for my biggest knife//
    and now i am on my way to rob hem of his life//
    on my way up to him i made a thousand plans//
    how i was gonna rip of this faggots fucking head//
    after an houre of driving finally i was there//
    i walked up to him and he said he wanted to fight fair//
    whithout a second tought i agreed whith that//
    i didnt came to think just to break his neck//
    so i got rid of my knife and trew away my strap//
    then one of his friens stabbed me in the back//
    but i didnt fell down only thing i felt was rage//
    they didnt shut me up they just opened my cage//
    turned around and pulled the knife out of my skin//
    punched the mothafucker who stabbed me in the chin//
    picked up my own knife started to cut him up//
    so hard and so fast i could see his guts//
    i turned around and looked whith my hands coverd whith blood//
    i saw the other guy he was trowing up//
    this has lasted long enough gonna end this shit now//
    im gonna kill this motherfucker i just dont know how//
    i finally decieded so i grabbed him by his coath//
    turned him around and slowly pulled my knife trough his troath//
    i dissapeared in the darkness in heavy storm and rain//
    the lightning bolts and thunder are like echos of my pain//



    waiting for some feedback people
    Last edited by leider; 10-15-2004, 03:45 PM.
    FoR ShiZzLe My WiZzLeS ThIs iS ThE pLoT LiStEn Up...YoU BiZzLeS FoRgOt SLiZzEL DoEs NoT GiVe a FUcK!!!!!!



    thanks to T&T for the avy

  • #2
    please leave rep
    FoR ShiZzLe My WiZzLeS ThIs iS ThE pLoT LiStEn Up...YoU BiZzLeS FoRgOt SLiZzEL DoEs NoT GiVe a FUcK!!!!!!



    thanks to T&T for the avy

    Comment


    • #3
      that was tight! except for the gut thing dont use that word. good job though

      Comment


      • #4
        That shit was hot dawg.

        Comment


        • #5
          that was fucking whack
          www.facebook.com/rekne6
          www.youtube.com/rekhedne6

          Comment


          • #6
            whats wrong whith it???
            FoR ShiZzLe My WiZzLeS ThIs iS ThE pLoT LiStEn Up...YoU BiZzLeS FoRgOt SLiZzEL DoEs NoT GiVe a FUcK!!!!!!



            thanks to T&T for the avy

            Comment


            • #7
              i wanna know what yall think about it good or bad be honest and if its bad tell me what i should change thnx
              FoR ShiZzLe My WiZzLeS ThIs iS ThE pLoT LiStEn Up...YoU BiZzLeS FoRgOt SLiZzEL DoEs NoT GiVe a FUcK!!!!!!



              thanks to T&T for the avy

              Comment


              • #8
                its got no flow
                www.facebook.com/rekne6
                www.youtube.com/rekhedne6

                Comment


                • #9
                  m searching my collection for my biggest knife//
                  and now i am on my way to rob hem of his life//

                  thats a good line, i haven't heard ROB HEM OF HIS LIFE in a rap before

                  on my way up to him i made a thousand plans//
                  how i was gonna rip of this faggots fucking head//

                  these lines don't rhyme well, and a thousand plans dosn't sound good there

                  turned around and pulled the knife out of my skin//
                  punched the mothafucker who stabbed me in the chin//
                  this line is good

                  dissapeared in the darkness in heavy storm and rain//
                  the lightning bolts and thunder are like echos of my pain//

                  thats good poetry "echo's of my pain"

                  out of 10 ill give it a 6, im a hard marker though, I liked it
                  New old song of mine Dedicated
                  Dedicated

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    it was tight, could feel that
                    Originally posted by Realize
                    evilspecialist has always been a god of poetry even before his join date of june 04

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      it was good how the whole thing ryhmed pretty well an all but you definatly need multies

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        im dutch so i dont know how tob spell all the words and
                        FUCK YOU
                        FoR ShiZzLe My WiZzLeS ThIs iS ThE pLoT LiStEn Up...YoU BiZzLeS FoRgOt SLiZzEL DoEs NoT GiVe a FUcK!!!!!!



                        thanks to T&T for the avy

                        Comment

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