HIP HOP LIFESTYLE

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

i need help improving good people preferred i wanna get better check this please

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • i need help improving good people preferred i wanna get better check this please

    yall i need some help....i want sum GOOD people to tell me how i kan improve please cause i wanna get better so heres a song i wrote called MAKING IT.........so leave feed please and give help ~uno~

    VERSE 1
    i come out late at nights to give frights and blind ya sight
    cant see me there aint no lights so take this invite as a fight
    pissed off at the earth been haten on it since my day of birth
    as i lurch through the city i search to kill somone of what they lifes worth
    my mind twitches the reason i do this shit is to fuck up all the whack bitches
    so i expose my riches cause life itches in they minds weneva they life switches
    rock a sweater all the time so fuck the weather its wether or not i release this lever
    cause ive gotten a whole lot better since my last kill so take this as a murder letter
    im stronger than ever so watch where your'e walking cause i kome without warning
    keep your eyes open after every corner cause the next thing is your heart ill be storing
    so try and not get into my path or im gonna kill yo ass so fast it wont bring back the past
    this will last as long as i go full blast yall aint ready for me this is just a sample of my wrath

    (CHOROUS)
    i hate everything so im always walking and stalking it
    people think they talk hard when they is only talking shit
    so im here to remind yall that no more am i taking shit
    yall kan keep talkin bout hot careers when your'e mistaking it
    cause on the real yall what ive seen im the only one making it

    VERSE 2
    let me tell you a story of when i was following this person home from work
    i put a knife in him that hung out like an ambilical cord after birth
    it was crazy cause i was laughing and rapping at the same time
    stoles his bills and dimes spread out his red slime over the scene of the crime
    that was just a quick now let me tell yall what upsets me the most
    how friends say they close but stab you in the back outta nowhere like a ghost
    i hate how people kome onto freestylen but people say they suck before they begun
    hatin how they kan you send you to war at eightteen but kant drink till twenty one
    so as i expose all of those things i hate the most i still got one more for this closer
    face it im a true music composer but i hate how people try and rap when they posers


    (CHOROUS)


    just a lil quick song i decided to do....changed it up alot in there...uppin...........and tell me what you think of song and how i kan improve right now? im given rep points for any kind of feed....uppin
    ~Lyrical Bloodz~





    when you hear the bottle top pop off you know im coming
    the sound in the backround aint the beat its the people running

  • #2
    Weren't feelin da hook at all man, other than that it was alright...

    My advice is to mix in some metas,and try not to get off rhythm, If you look in ya 1st verse dogg, you go from a short first line and just keep lettin 'em get longer and longer. You'll find if you try to do some audios your gon' have to switch up ya style completely, which maybe might not be a problem but if you let yourself slip into the habbit of it now it'll be hard to break once you start doin alot of recording. (Recently just happened to me HaHa)...

    I dont think im someone good you'll wanna take advice from but thats just my input, take it or leave it...

    But overall i give it a 6.6/10
    http://www.myspace.com/kotten

    Comment


    • #3
      thnx 4 advice dawg and ill take it 1o1..............
      ~Lyrical Bloodz~





      when you hear the bottle top pop off you know im coming
      the sound in the backround aint the beat its the people running

      Comment

      Post ad widget 300x250

      Collapse

      LATEST POSTS

      Collapse

      Topics Statistics Last Post
      Started by WesleyDrake, 01-15-2021, 09:59 AM
      2 responses
      9 views
      0 likes
      Last Post dropdimes18  
      Started by DavideRucker, Today, 01:51 AM
      0 responses
      1 view
      0 likes
      Last Post DavideRucker  
      Started by zialipro1, Yesterday, 08:07 AM
      0 responses
      1 view
      0 likes
      Last Post zialipro1  
      Started by b2bdataquest, Yesterday, 05:37 AM
      0 responses
      2 views
      0 likes
      Last Post b2bdataquest  
      Started by KennethFelix, 01-16-2021, 01:50 AM
      0 responses
      2 views
      0 likes
      Last Post KennethFelix  
      Started by levisleone, 01-16-2021, 12:19 AM
      0 responses
      6 views
      0 likes
      Last Post levisleone  
      Started by basketballeven, 01-15-2021, 04:02 PM
      0 responses
      3 views
      0 likes
      Last Post basketballeven  
      Started by basketballeven, 01-15-2021, 02:31 PM
      0 responses
      5 views
      0 likes
      Last Post basketballeven  
      Started by SamueleRiley, 01-15-2021, 02:24 AM
      1 response
      11 views
      0 likes
      Last Post kmonahan  
      Started by torchketousa, 01-14-2021, 11:24 PM
      0 responses
      2 views
      0 likes
      Last Post torchketousa  
      Working...
      X