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Game of Life - GIM'ME FEEDBACK!

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  • Game of Life - GIM'ME FEEDBACK!

    Just some shit I rushed, hurried and did this...would appreciate feedback. I'll post some of my better shit some other time...just hate translating it off paper onto a computer...





    "The Game of Life"


    Laying in my crib surrounded by coke & speed...
    Mom & dad in the living room, smokin' weed...
    In my mind I was just hopin' to be...
    Set free, someone come and pick me up...
    But my temper tantrum must have shut the electricity off...
    So dad was pissed and the house was pitch black...
    And mom came to hold me, but her blouse that was mitch match...
    Was ripped & snatched, followed by a back hand...
    Dad was looking like a madman...
    Screaming and threw a trash can...
    Pissed off at mom because she never paid the bills...
    Instead she spent the money on cocaine and pills...
    The game of life is real, oh its so real...
    So heres the deal...

    (Chorus x2)

    You can struggle...just know you'll get through it...
    Just keep moving on, believe me...you can do it...
    Never quit the hustle...don't you ever surrender...
    Cuz once you exit...there is no re-enter...



    Laying down...perfectly safe n' sound...
    Gun shots went off, so I looked out my window at the playground...
    Stared for a minute...and tears started to pour...
    Down my face...my heart has been torn...
    Eyes now darken & sore...there he stood...
    Blood's on his hands and this can't be very good...
    I saw a dead man in the street...and a man with a gun in his hand...
    He looked at me and started screaming...but I couldn't understand...
    The sirens were too loud, the police were near...
    And I could see the agony...beneath his tears...
    He closed his eyes...and put the gun to his head...
    And dad pulled the trigger...a site I'll never forget...
    Cuz you can't even describe the pain I feel...
    The game of life is real, oh so real...

    (Chorus x2)

    You can struggle...just know you'll get through it...
    Just keep moving on, believe me...you can do it...
    Never quit the hustle...don't you ever surrender...
    Cuz once you exit...there is no re-enter...



    Sitting in an office, trying to get on welfare...
    I ain't feeling too good...and we can't afford health care...
    But mom's trying to patch things up, shes slowly trying...
    It's all sunny days, but deep inside...I know shes crying...
    Even though she denies it...when talking on the phone...
    Soon she says, I'll have a brand new block...a brand new home...
    A new school...and I'll live a whole new life...
    I won't be part of a broken family...I'll be the normal type...
    And as I sit at this table, eating my last meal...
    Me and mom discuss life's game...and how its so real...

    (Chorus x4)

    You can struggle...just know you'll get through it...
    Just keep moving on, believe me...you can do it...
    Never quit the hustle...don't you ever surrender...
    Cuz once you exit...there is no re-enter...

    I'm graduating now...I've made my mother proud...
    I watch my mother smile at her brother whos in the other crowd...
    I see my family clapping, having a good time...laughing...
    As if nothing in my childhood had ever happened...
    Because we forget the past, we're only moving forward...
    The cursor on my timeline is moving toward...
    A new stage of life...I'm now a grown adult...
    And through all my troubles, I was shown and taught...
    Everything I now know, mom struggled so much...
    Huddled n' such for a plan...but it was tough...
    We lived through it...I knew we could do it...
    I just knew it...
    And although I'm not going to say it was all worth it...
    I now realize there are people with worst lives...so I consider mine perfect...

  • #2
    Uppin'.

    Comment


    • #3
      I liked it, it was pretty good. I like the hook the most. And the message was deep pretty sad or horificic. Sorry if that shit really happend to you or if your just using you imagination. I'd give it a 7.4/10. Nice drop.


      Rick
      7Digit
      UNTOUCHABLE LYRICISTZ

      You The Flyest Guy Walkin' That's Only Because I'm Seated

      Comment


      • #4
        That shit was quality. Respectin that rhyme. Keep up the good work
        twitter.com/thisistc

        Comment


        • #5
          nice drop, like most of it............. like corus aswell not bad
          Fo` REAL

          LIL .M. DJMC

          22 5


          touneyz won: 2

          Lil M is the H.N.I.C

          Comment


          • #6
            i didnt read it, im to lazy man get a mic
            nialliv ydahs ma i


            Sean John Jacket- $90
            Fubu Pants- $40
            Rocca Wear Hat- $60
            Realizing Your White.....Priceless

            Comment


            • #7
              I got a mic...Studio Projects B1...
              What!

              Comment

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