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Shackled...rep points for critism

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  • Shackled...rep points for critism

    they say i dont understand how they ...do-in-this-game
    im new-in-this-game and im ...brewen-a-flame
    there haten me,staten it aint ..."cool,-what-im-sayen"
    "your two-in-the-same,a usual suspect,...cruel-in-the-brain"
    but you'd-do-the-same if you recieved the pools-of-complaints
    that i-got,just from the thoughts that i-dropped in school-to-the-lame
    ass teachers,speaken out,preachen and ...druelen-the-same
    shit over and over,its over,there adden ...fuel-to-the-flame
    fuelen-my-rage to the point i write my ...two-on-this-page
    taken aim with the gage at every ...rule-they-embrace
    till the point they trip break a join and ...lose-in-the-race
    against races,raisen a generation of kids ...who-flip-the-page
    just to see another mother lost in the duel-they-engaged
    the law hasnt saw what we seen,or had a gun ...shootin-their-way
    and i aint talkin about the police,im talkin about the few-in-a-safe
    secure courthouse,with nothin to worry about,...there cool-in-the-face
    but as soon-as-thier-faced with sumone who has a two-in-their-waist
    and ready to shoot-and-just-take everything,they place ...you-on-ther-brain
    and relize the lies they bin sayen has got everyone doomed-in-this-game
    but its too late,there dead,and so are ...you,-ta-this-day....

  • #2
    thats was nice,you had some nice contents which helped your ryhme structure on a whole,the flow was a ok too,the only real draw back is that multi's would've made this a whole heap better...j/p....peace.
    Last edited by Grave Digger; 11-04-2004, 11:14 AM.
    "Life Is A Form Of Annimated Death"


    Battles/ 39
    Wins/ 30
    Ko's/ 22
    Loses/ 9

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    • #3
      wat??....the whole thing is multi's....do u know wat a multi is...."do-in-this-game/brewen-a-flame/cool,-what-im-sayen" and so on...dont tell me you think a line like "im sick,too quick for a bitch to ctach my dick on her lips,im crazy/my lisp makes my spits sound liek a hit when they play-me/"...all those lil rhyme sinside "sick,dick ect...do u think those are multi's..well ther enot...multi's are compound rhymes....with multiple sylables..man, i gotta give this board a lesson on the basics of poetry and lyrics..dam, im glad i took that class

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      • #4
        uppin people

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        • #5
          uppiiinnnn

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          • #6
            that shit was tight dawg...im feelin it
            i thiunk u need to tone ur violence up if ya gonna talk bout pigs and shit...lol
            peace dawg im givin u a rep
            Fo` REAL

            DeCeaST
            DJMC
            lil M




            Realizez- Infinate Soldier


            Originally posted by Pawl Derty
            U got nuts...thats why u gon be great!
            Originally posted by J-Side
            Dcst - Kick ass emcee -- dont fuck wit him

            Originally posted by Dirt Rich
            You definetely got balls

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