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The Death of me(first verse and verse)

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  • The Death of me(first verse and verse)

    http://www.illwayz.com/
    the beat is the second one on the beats list if you wanna view it

    yo I don't wanna talk about death at this /part of life/
    but if you ain't got the /heart to fight/ you'll end up

    like elvis,/biggie or ODB/ but when I pull the /triggie you wont see me/

    but if you happen to see my /runnin ass/
    /runnin fast/ wit a /ton of cash/

    betta /close your trap/ kuz I'll rip outta my /clothes I'll snap/

    n kill all of you fuckas n thats /the betta me/
    the worste of me will be the /death of me/

    Chorus
    --------
    bitch the death of me betta be /dra-mat-ic/
    cuz I'll snap back to it like a fuckin /el-as-tic/
    n you'll be givin 2 fucks kuz your ass'll be /casted/
    so don't be so greedy n feel luckey you /lasted/
    Last edited by MC_Needles; 03-11-2005, 08:10 PM.
    http://www.globalemcee.com/ArtificialInstinct/

  • #2
    You apparently don't know how to break your raps up into bars.
    Love, live life, proceed, progress

    Comment


    • #3
      I just wanted to change my structure up a lil...I'ma fix it
      http://www.globalemcee.com/ArtificialInstinct/

      Comment


      • #4
        I thought it was good, weak hook though... some of ur verses could have been used as the hook instead...

        if you happen to see my /runnin ass/
        /runnin fast/ wit a /ton of cash/

        betta /close your trap/ kuz I'll rip outta my /clothes I'll snap/

        n kill all of you fuckas n thats /the betta me/
        the worste of me will be the /death of me/
        50 droppin, Em droppin, D12 droppin, Dre droppin.. Up In Smoke 2

        Comment


        • #5
          Edit: work with this... for the hook.. that line should be the ending.. i havent checked the beat btw

          the worste of me will be the /death of me/
          50 droppin, Em droppin, D12 droppin, Dre droppin.. Up In Smoke 2

          Comment


          • #6
            somethin somethin...
            somethin somethin..
            I'll rip outta my /clothes I'll snap/

            Cuzzzzzz

            the worste of me will be the /death of me/
            50 droppin, Em droppin, D12 droppin, Dre droppin.. Up In Smoke 2

            Comment


            • #7
              why did you copy a couple barz from it?
              http://www.globalemcee.com/ArtificialInstinct/

              Comment


              • #8
                that whole concept is just sick...

                the worste of me will be the /death of me/

                I love it. Thats a fuckin song right there.

                I like to take one good line and work my whole song, verse around it.
                50 droppin, Em droppin, D12 droppin, Dre droppin.. Up In Smoke 2

                Comment


                • #9
                  im thinkin outloud... thats what goes on in my head know what im sayin
                  50 droppin, Em droppin, D12 droppin, Dre droppin.. Up In Smoke 2

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    what?
                    http://www.globalemcee.com/ArtificialInstinct/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      wow im losing patience. :P
                      peace.
                      50 droppin, Em droppin, D12 droppin, Dre droppin.. Up In Smoke 2

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        so do you like it or not?
                        http://www.globalemcee.com/ArtificialInstinct/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          are u high just read what i wrote

                          and what do you think of this for a hook; its hard to picture cause i cant explain how it flips off the tongue... but if u have a good imagination awh fuck it ull never guess....

                          Hook:

                          You Suicidal
                          Afraid of Survival
                          You in denail
                          This is Survival
                          Of the Fittest
                          Bitches in my room
                          Please Please Please
                          Of the Fittest
                          Bitches in my room
                          Please Please Please


                          You Suicidal
                          Afraid of Survival
                          You in denail
                          This is Survival
                          Of the Fittest
                          Bitches in my room
                          Please Please Please
                          Of the Fittest
                          Bitches in my room
                          Please Please Please
                          50 droppin, Em droppin, D12 droppin, Dre droppin.. Up In Smoke 2

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by EbonIvore
                            that whole concept is just sick...

                            the worste of me will be the /death of me/

                            I love it. Thats a fuckin song right there.

                            I like to take one good line and work my whole song, verse around it.


                            in other words, yes i like it. It has potential to be hot as fuck for sure.
                            50 droppin, Em droppin, D12 droppin, Dre droppin.. Up In Smoke 2

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              aight thanx
                              http://www.globalemcee.com/ArtificialInstinct/

                              Comment

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