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My Verse- Critique Me plz

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  • My Verse- Critique Me plz

    I'm working on a verse over to beat to "Love Me" from the 8 Mile Sntrck. Gimme feedback, thanks.

    I came in the game/
    not lookin' for love, not looking for fame/
    looking for a chance to spread my name/
    one and the same/
    and as a result, what did i gain?/
    my name used in vain/
    say i aint hot/
    say i aint got the flame/
    cause i will remain/
    number 1 till the day that i'm slain/
    switch up the flow/
    and ill even rap for those that are slow/
    whatta ya know, choppa's lyrics have stolen the show/
    trust me on this one/
    cause u dont wanna go toe to toe/
    against choppa's lyrics,delivery/
    or even his dough, whoops there i go/
    talkin' fake and superficial/
    bring it back though/
    and ill rhyme like never before/
    kick in the door, 200 bars, im spittin' hardcore/
    i don't do hooks, rappin's enough of a chore/
    Last edited by Choppa; 03-12-2005, 10:31 PM.
    Originally posted by Calidank
    milk the money as long as you can, long as people keep requestin it why stop a good thing.... At the end of the day its a buisness, the art of selling.

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