HIP HOP LIFESTYLE

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

a lil rhyme (gimme feedback)

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • a lil rhyme (gimme feedback)

    yo bitch im tryin to understand it/
    mess with me ill leave yer ass abbondoned/
    im just wonderin how the fuck you manage/
    when im bustin ryhmes from another planet/
    and i cant see how you gonna handle me/
    im bustin you up fuckin with yo anatomy/
    im burnin yer ass like the third degree/
    you bitches in court bustin tha guilt plea/
    but not me/
    yo i stay on top of my life/
    and when im not home/
    i stay on top of yer wife/
    but is right for me to hit it from the back/
    i can do dat or else ill get with my gat/
    9 milly bustin slugs up on the avenue/
    creepin in the dark whos dat ***** grabbin you/
    its Dan G out the pententary/
    locked up for what seemed a fuckin century/
    so watch out then you be one my enemies/
    then ill have to drink you up like hennessey/

  • #2
    dodgy

    your shit was kinda all over the place, needs a lotta structure work...one line ure talkin about fuckin someones wife, next line ure talkin about shootin people? just get a steady flow to your rhymes and the usual things, better vocab and metaphors

    LaTeRz

    Comment


    • #3
      thx for replyin man, no one ever does

      Comment


      • #4
        i liked it, too bad some of it didnt rhyme

        Comment


        • #5
          they arent all exact rhyming words like dog, log, but when you read them aloud they flow, thats what i was kinda goin for. thx for the reply too em 2001

          Comment

          Post ad widget 300x250

          Collapse

          LATEST POSTS

          Collapse

          basketballeven
          New Release Member
          regalketodiet
          New Release Member
          regalketodiet
          New Release Member
          Rapsodia
          New Release Member
          Nancystarkman
          New Release Member
          Zavylon
          New Release Member
          Zavylon
          New Release Member
          Zavylon
          New Release Member
          justincornish
          New Release Member
          nextcbdreview
          New Release Member
          Topics Statistics Last Post
          Started by basketballeven, 01-19-2021, 07:49 AM
          8 responses
          31 views
          0 likes
          Last Post easered
          easered
          New Release Member
          by easered
           
          Started by regalketodiet, Today, 03:28 AM
          0 responses
          3 views
          0 likes
          Last Post regalketodiet  
          Started by regalketodiet, Today, 03:27 AM
          0 responses
          2 views
          0 likes
          Last Post regalketodiet  
          Started by Rapsodia, Today, 02:47 AM
          0 responses
          3 views
          0 likes
          Last Post Rapsodia  
          Started by Nancystarkman, 01-22-2022, 11:20 PM
          1 response
          7 views
          0 likes
          Last Post noahharry
          noahharry
          New Release Member
          by noahharry
           
          Started by Zavylon, 01-22-2022, 07:26 PM
          1 response
          5 views
          0 likes
          Last Post Rapsodia
          Rapsodia
          New Release Member
          by Rapsodia
           
          Started by Zavylon, 01-22-2022, 05:56 PM
          1 response
          5 views
          0 likes
          Last Post Rapsodia
          Rapsodia
          New Release Member
          by Rapsodia
           
          Started by Zavylon, 01-22-2022, 12:22 PM
          1 response
          6 views
          0 likes
          Last Post Rapsodia
          Rapsodia
          New Release Member
          by Rapsodia
           
          Started by justincornish, 01-20-2022, 09:37 PM
          1 response
          9 views
          0 likes
          Last Post noahharry
          noahharry
          New Release Member
          by noahharry
           
          Started by nextcbdreview, Yesterday, 07:38 AM
          0 responses
          2 views
          0 likes
          Last Post nextcbdreview  
          Working...
          X