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the dark side please read and critique

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  • the dark side please read and critique

    ring the bell ding ding get the money ching ching dont fuckin swear bling bling/ u all say the same thing let the assasin sing/ and spit his shit cuz what i got to say is sugnificant/i been to hell and back my own parents r on the attack/ wanten to crack ova da head make sure im dead its just like i said/ i been disowned i guess i just have outgrown/ my parents love for me and aparently they dont love me/ anymore but dats ok cuz my moms a whore she would suck your dick on the floor/ for only a couple of dimes and my dad has to comit crimes/ to keep my mom happy i live a crappy life i think i should end it wit this knife/ theres nuttin to live for look what i got a a criminal a hoe it just goe to show/ families may have the dough/ but were they get it from if it was ^ tome we would live like bums in the slums/ of the universe thats y im spitten this verse while my dad steals another old ladies purse/ i wanna run away and stay far from here so i stear clear/ of this house were my dads spouse is nuttin but a bitch that has a nervious tiwtch/ when another guy comes to the door asken "were the fuck is my whore"/ so i wanna escape this place cuz i am been chased bye my dad that has had/ enough wit my i guess we cant see eye to eye/ so i guess he wants me to die but i wont lie/ i brought thius upon my self this is why i got bad health/ i wish i could turn my body on stelth/ so no1 could see me u know what i mean G/ well my family hates me and i got no wher to go all i got is my lyrical flow/ and a hoe that like to blow/ my balls befor she falls to the ground from overdosing i guess its aways the same thing/ in my life i got no love so i kill my self to see the lord up above/ but i still get pushed and shoved to get there its unfair/ so all i can do know is just stair and glare/ at the lord and say y u do this to me i cant afford/ another crappy thing happenin cuz i have comitted one to many sins just let me in/ i repent and relent to all the things i have done i onderif u can get a gun/ and kill your self in the after life/ cuz this place bites to and guess its true/ i will neva find happness so i piss/ on all the happy peeps cuz im gunna creep/ in your dream and make u scream/ for the lord but all u gunna get is this sword/cummin at u 90 miles an hour and sure my out look on life is sour but i wonder if i should kill my self hour after hour/
    if i kill u will u scream???

  • #2
    thats not my real out look on life but i thought it sounded kool and in da ryhme its i "wonder if i can get a gun in the after life" any way i hope peeps read this peace
    if i kill u will u scream???

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    • #3
      yo some1 read dis i hope this aint another dead board
      if i kill u will u scream???

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      • #4
        yo thats kinda cool dogg....i kinda got lost in the flow though.
        da last line was da hottest.

        Im replying cuz im feeling what you sayin that peeps in this board never respond, they seem to be trying to battle everyone rather than peep other peoples freestyles. keep at it dogg. PEACE.
        Illrun
        The only thing worse than the wretched pain in my mouth is the excrement spewing from yours-Stewie Griffen

        ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME

        R.I.P ~ Tupac Shakur-my biggest musical inspiration…you are missed everyday

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        • #5
          ayo soul,
          i liked this, but not as much as the shit i saw on d12board.
          it flowed well but the rhymin wasn't as hot as it was before, anyway writin alot, keep it up man
          http://dalux.dmusic.com

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