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    im hitten u up wit some new shit and if u dont like it dont throw a fit/ just sit down and look around to the shit i spit/ and i want u to critque but dont make your out look bleak and meke/ i dont want u to speak/ of all the aspects and dont try to dectet all da bad/ cuz its sad in your rise to the top u have to stop some/ lyrical masters and sure i may out class your ass/ but dont look sad get mad/ and spit your shit better and b confident in your flow to the very last letter/ cuz i only wanna b surounded by peeps that can spit a ryhme at any time/ of the day so just say if u got what it takes and dont make any mistakes/ cuz your ass is at stake and i dont want fake/ rappers tryn to copy some1's style to me your as bad a a pedefile/ looken at little kid through his blinds and he finds/ littl kids in the sand box and watches them like a pack of hawks/ and stalks them to there homes and begins to rome into there room until i break out my gun and take his fucin head off KA-BOOM/ with a shot gun blast that will land him on his ass/ so when i challenge u dont try to pass up the offer cuz i will take u tor yhmen school were i make u look like a fool/ and u will drool all ova your desk u maken mess/ u caussin me some serious stress/ and u dont even progress in your beats u havent even proformed one lyrical treat/ so stay in your seat cuz if u ge ^ u will substain a defeat
    if i kill u will u scream???

  • #2
    these are good if they are actual freestyles, but on this you should be thinking about it more. theres a few clever lines in there but you have to work on rhymin coz it's still quite basic shit.
    no beef dude just tryin to help :D
    http://dalux.dmusic.com

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    • #3
      Aight...seen

      Soul...what is it supposed to be, a battle verse, a warning, a story? Not cussin u, but it needs work if its a battle verse, to b honest it reads more like a notice or somethin...my advice is use some metaphors and better vocab, and the rate u spit these verses, you'll b a dope MC...peace

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