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Reachin' The Top Of The Plateau

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  • Reachin' The Top Of The Plateau

    Shit, I still can't think of many multis and I was actually planning on using more for this verse. It's hard for me at the moment, but hopefully I'll get back into it.

    Here it is anyways:

    Yo, truthfully I wanna spit as great-as-I-can;
    climb to the top of the plateau as I'm creatin'-a-plan
    I started takin' rap seriously at age seventeen;
    earlier this year, but it's better late than never,-see
    Take a look into my world; I live in no projects,
    but I still gotta portray some shit and y'all better watch-it
    I'm tryin' to construct some verses to guide me to the peak,
    learn form my mistakes and get better with every word I speak
    Sure my raps can be weak, but success is what I seek
    That means I gotta step up witht he vocab, metaphors,
    wordplay, multis, concepts, visuals, flows, and even more
    I need to concentrate in order to elevate
    I know it takes a while, but it's worth the wait
    At times I can be stuck, but hopefully I'll get through-it
    I'm stuck as I'm writin' this, but I still gotta do-it
    I'm gonna continue writin' raps even if peeps boo-this
    P!

  • #2
    I know how you feel with the writers block type shit... I can't think of punchlines or anything as easy as I used to... nice verse though Pandemic, I didnt see any fatal flaws in your verse
    Free Agent
    3 Wins - 3 KOs - 2 Losses

    .:::STREET DISCIPLES:::.
    |GAP2GAP|CT9|SWITCH-B|
    |Vokab|Green Chronic|

    0 Wins - 0 KOs - 0 Losses

    Comment


    • #3
      Yo, thanks.
      P!

      Comment


      • #4
        Uppin'.
        P!

        Comment


        • #5
          flow was good , average verse , it could be hot if you put more thoughts into it , give it more comlexity.

          Keep it up

          Comment


          • #6
            Yo, thanks for the feedback. Uppin'.
            P!

            Comment


            • #7
              Uppin' for more feedback.
              P!

              Comment


              • #8
                Come on! Leave some feedback, motherfuckers! 2:-$2
                P!

                Comment


                • #9
                  yo man nice shit n jus add more thoughts n make it more emotional n the way u depict ur struggle n rage at not bein able 2 write,give the words life n make em jump of the page at u but ur deffiantly cumin back wit each spit,keep it up man n could u check out my freestyle battle wit axis

                  peace
                  You ain't got a truck that's hooked up with rims
                  Kids'll see you like "damn, why I looked up to him?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Yo, thanks for the feedback. Uppin'.
                    P!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Uppin' for more feedback.
                      P!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        nice verse, i really like the last few lines great flow, keep that shit up homie
                        SECTION 8

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thanks.
                          P!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Yo, truthfully I wanna spit as great-as-I-can;
                            climb to the top of the plateau as I'm creatin'-a-plan

                            Count the number of sylables in your multis, when you say it outloud it sound wonky if they dont match.

                            I started takin' rap seriously at age seventeen;
                            earlier this year, but it's better late than never,-see

                            See kinda works here, but only just barely.
                            "But its better to be late than to have never been" Would've worked better in my opinion.


                            Take a look into my world; I live in no projects,
                            but I still gotta portray some shit and y'all better watch-it

                            Didn't really liek the bar as I couldnt get it to rhyme outloud. Maybe if it had been "I dont live in a project" it would've been easier, but the plural on projects really throws it off.

                            I'm tryin' to construct some verses to guide me to the peak,
                            learn form my mistakes and get better with every word I speak

                            Not a bad bar, vocab is kinda basic though.

                            Sure my raps can be weak, but success is what I seek

                            Single rhyming bars like this make me angry, they usauly dont work well at all in songs.

                            That means I gotta step up witht he vocab, metaphors,
                            wordplay, multis, concepts, visuals, flows, and even more

                            I would've liked to see some more of this come out in your work...

                            I need to concentrate in order to elevate
                            I know it takes a while, but it's worth the wait

                            Nice bar I liked this one.

                            At times I can be stuck, but hopefully I'll get through-it
                            I'm stuck as I'm writin' this, but I still gotta do-it
                            I'm gonna continue writin' raps even if peeps boo-this

                            Liked the first two of three bars here, wasnt feeling the last one. Seemed a little too corny for me.


                            I went hard on you because I know you are better than this. Try and get past the writers block and do something a little more sophisticated. Keep your head up though rome wasnt built in a day.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Yo, thanks a lot for the constructive criticism. It really helps and I respect that.
                              P!

                              Comment

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