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The Lights Gone pt.1

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  • The Lights Gone pt.1

    (VERSE 1)
    armegeddons approachin bt natons r still loadn weapons,
    terrors regular n r dreams hav been corrodn since the elevnth,
    constant pains inlicted n aliens msgs frm space r incrypted,
    n r perfect life is dwn the drain that we scripted,
    instead we visualise a land wer dead bodies terrorise,
    n blood mirrors r eyes n loves wat make us criticise,
    caus we wanna be role modals n live righteous
    but its evil that insights us n brings n gives the fight 2 us,
    wit constant irritation n conflicts there instigatin,
    tryna detair the nation n control minds wit ther perpetrations,
    responsible for decayin the souls of little infants,
    as a whole kids hearts r almost cold at a instant,
    n 2 this shit ive gotta bear witness but im gone,
    before r world crumbles though threw my rhymes ill shine on,
    n democracy lies n threw there speeches hypocracy cries,
    n in the midst of all this hate n anger r phropecy dies,
    bt the smell of coffee makes us arise caus this aint a dream,
    extremist out 2 kill n there hell bent its seems,
    n were dyin caus nowadays injections giv us disease,
    n plz were all searchin for perfection like jesus,
    but were jus ants waitn 2 b stamped on by political giants,
    n killed n stuffed in body bags by analytical tyrants,
    at the same time were burnin r planet n decayn r sun,
    builders yearnin for granit as were out on the run,
    so my proposition is that u sit n listin,news reports twistn
    the reason behind wars sayin its not becaus of religion,
    so we gotta stand ground,lock r feet n hold position,
    caus in reality its a free world so fuck ur inhibitions.
    troops start reunifiyin n begin the coalition,
    n use any means of force 2 stop-em so load ur ammunition.........


    (CHORUS)
    TROOPS LOADIN AMMUNITION,CORRODIN ALL R AMBITIONS,
    FIGHTN WARS FOR NO REASON R HEARTS R BELOW FREEZIN,,
    COMMITIN TREASON ON THE WORD OF JUS ONE MAN,
    WHO PRACTICALLY HAS THE POWER OF THE WORLD AT HAND,
    ITS TIME 2 UP-BRING A REBELLION N FIGHT-ON
    CONTINUE THE PRESSURE EVEN AFTER THE LIGHTS GONE


    (VERSE 2)
    my stress manifests of this fuckin senseless world,
    n at my best im still enraged cin men rape defenceless girls,
    n headsotnes bein engraved for kids at such a early age,
    contemplatin why this happins,surly it must be fate,
    n im walkin the block always lookin behind my shoulder,
    afraid 2 stop n talk caus these hardtimes r gettn colder
    zonin out caus i cnt take it,im strugglin 2 stay sober
    goin 2 bed n prayin that when i wake up all its over,
    but im unanswered n my wishes vanish into thin air,
    fallin of trees lik dead leaves,wonderin is he still there,
    n has my time been cancelled caus i doubtd his presence,
    n this mis-judgement of faith has clouded my esscence,


    (CHORUS)
    TROOPS LOADIN AMMUNITION,CORRODIN ALL R AMBITIONS,
    FIGHTN WARS FOR NO REASON R HEARTS R BELOW FREEZIN,,
    COMMITIN TREASON ON THE WORD OF JUS ONE MAN,
    WHO PRACTICALLY HAS THE POWER OF THE WORLD AT HAND,
    ITS TIME 2 UP-BRING A REBELLION N FIGHT-ON
    CONTINUE THE PRESSURE EVEN AFTER THE LIGHTS GONE


    (vERSE 3)
    i meticulously unload my thoughts frm mind 2 page,
    caus inside im caged n my minds grows crazd from this rage,
    caus r misery mounts as im analysin r prblems
    only victory counts as im stratedigisin on how 2 solve-em,
    while nations r finialisin r demise wit there conflicts,
    signin the deal wit blood but still the lies r constant,
    chippin the earth away as eachday it gradually gts worse
    wer dippd in water at birth bt ice ill drown us n its r curse,
    humans r wastin gods gift by heatin the planet
    n dis-obeyin his orders by burnin the commandments,
    You ain't got a truck that's hooked up with rims
    Kids'll see you like "damn, why I looked up to him?

  • #2
    uppin............
    You ain't got a truck that's hooked up with rims
    Kids'll see you like "damn, why I looked up to him?

    Comment


    • #3
      my man shit was hott as usual.. but u spelled mad shit wrong juss left out a letter in the middle n shit... only bad part
      if theres good in every evil
      then theres evil in every good

      Comment


      • #4
        yo man i did that in purpose,dont start thinkin im stupid,lol,jus 2 fit it in better n make it look more structured n shorter caus cats on here wont read it if its to long.

        THIS IS IN CAPITIALS SO I CAN SAY WHY THE FUCK DOES MY PIECES KEEP GETTTIN SLEPT ON,I ALWASY LEAVE OTHER PPL FEED SO GET OF UR ASSES N LEAVE ME SUM,

        uppin.............
        You ain't got a truck that's hooked up with rims
        Kids'll see you like "damn, why I looked up to him?

        Comment


        • #5
          i was really feeling the dark, sorta all hope is lost feel of this jada

          Comment


          • #6
            yo man thanks for the feed,uppin.........
            You ain't got a truck that's hooked up with rims
            Kids'll see you like "damn, why I looked up to him?

            Comment


            • #7
              man that was one of the hottest songs i ever read on here it was like i didnt wanna stop readin, ya know. good job man
              OH HAI!

              Comment


              • #8
                definetly good shit , I was really feelin chorus

                I will PM later about our next song

                Comment


                • #9
                  yo peeps thanks for the love n i put alot into this so its appreciated,uppin for more feed,uppin...........
                  You ain't got a truck that's hooked up with rims
                  Kids'll see you like "damn, why I looked up to him?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Shit was def tight homie. Vocab was banging as well as your flow.

                    Peace
                    _____________________________

                    They call me Sinful for a reason.....
                    Think about it.....

                    _____________________________

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      yo man thanks n ive been workin on my flow,its the weakest part of my flow,uppin for more feed,uppin.............
                      You ain't got a truck that's hooked up with rims
                      Kids'll see you like "damn, why I looked up to him?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Man, oh man. Where do I begin? You come from a verse not even up to par on the thingy against Axis, and now this? Man, major improvement. I'm proud of what I see.

                        Fave line:

                        humans r wastin gods gift by heatin the planet
                        n dis-obeyin his orders by burnin the commandments,

                        ^Truth in every line. There's only two! Lol! Anyway, it's sadly the truth, and it's a shame that God sacrificed so much, such as His son, to save the life of other's, yet we take advantage of that, and disobey God. The least we could do is at least try to be good humans.

                        Try to avoid lines such as this:

                        n headsotnes bein engraved for kids at such a early age,
                        contemplatin why this happins,surly it must be fate,

                        ^It sounds like you wanted "early age," and "surly it must be fate," to be a multi together, for the fact that "surly" and "early" rhyme. If this is the case, try to make the multis the same about of syllables, therefore, it can actually be a multi. See what I'm sayin'? The "it must be" just takes away the multi. If you review it, without the "it must be," it doesn't make sense. So try to at least make a multi make sense. See where I'm goin' with this? If not, PM me, or respond to me on here, and I will gladly explain it to you.

                        Overall, you had a great message, and I felt every line. It's nice to know I inspired you to write this, since I said you sucked on the battle with Axis. Lol. Crappy way to put it, I know.

                        Nice flow, multis were on point, except for the one I pointed out, and a few others. Try and add more multis, make it all multis, if you can! Like my rhymes. But I "surly" am not trying to make you rap in a way that yo udo not want to rap. Or to just rap like me to make me happy. That is just gay. Rap the way you feel, but try and make it complex, and wordplayish, and heartfelt, to show the skill you really contain.

                        Keep at it, jadaafa.

                        Your girl,
                        Symptom

                        P.S. - Like my paragraph? Well, paragraphs.
                        Love, live life, proceed, progress

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          lol i nearlt fell asleep readin that but it all helpd n thanks for the feed gurl,ur always helpin me elevate n givin gd feed instead of newbies jus sayin hot shit,thanks again n im gonna work on them multis,jus i havnt had much time 2 write caus ive been wit my gurl alot caus she was away for 2weeks on holiday n now shes back so u no.thanks n ill rep u when i can,uppin for more feed,

                          uppin.....................
                          You ain't got a truck that's hooked up with rims
                          Kids'll see you like "damn, why I looked up to him?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            FLAWLESS

                            caus r misery mounts as im analysin r prblems
                            only victory counts as im stratedigisin on how 2 solve-em, - my favourite bars

                            but everyone knows this is a masterpiece as is

                            keep @ it man

                            peace

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              yo man thanks for the feed,uppin..............
                              You ain't got a truck that's hooked up with rims
                              Kids'll see you like "damn, why I looked up to him?

                              Comment

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