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Just A Lil Somethin I Startd Workin On

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  • Just A Lil Somethin I Startd Workin On

    Just started on this song, not completely finished yet. just workin with it
    anyways, let me know what yall think, an what i need to like improve on as far a writing songs.

    (Hook (x2)
    I Couldn't See My Place In Life
    But, My Mind Stay Lit
    Like A Red Blazin Light
    (Whispering Away)
    Light
    Light
    Light...
    (Body)
    I
    Love To Rap
    Which Is Why
    Im Up For Days, To Write
    Doin What I Love
    To Make A Life.
    If I Could Go Back In Time, I'd Make It Right.
    Left School About Right After, Ninth.
    Didnt Do Shit For 3 Years, Now Its 2000 An Five
    No Diploma Or Job, Just Tryna Survive.
    So...
    With The Diverse Knowledge Of Hip-Hop
    I Prepare To Rip Off An Make This Whole Shit Rock.


    (Hook (x2)
    I Couldn't See My Place In Life
    But, My Mind Stay Lit
    Like A Red Blazin Light
    (Whispering Away)
    Light
    Light
    Light...
    (Body)
    Please Believe, When Given The Chance
    To Achieve, I'll Advance Indeed.
    I Don't Have To Repeat It
    Just Let Me Up In This, So I Can Get It Heated.
    Puttin Pen To Paper, To Let Rhymes Flow
    All It Took Was Music, For My Shine To Show.

    Gained a couple fans had to make a transition

    But i'm still in the hood like a transmission

  • #2
    UppiN...

    Gained a couple fans had to make a transition

    But i'm still in the hood like a transmission

    Comment


    • #3
      thats pretty good man, words fit together well, flows nice, doesnt feel finished but youre not done yet, so you keep workin on that, its got good potential.
      SECTION 8

      Comment


      • #4
        Some of the rhymes were nice. But... yes there is a but LOL the way you have set out your verses makes it hard to catch the flow. As a reader I find it easier to read if it set out in full length lines

        eg.
        I Love To Rap Which Is Why Im Up For Days, To Write
        Doin What I Love To Make A Life.

        Just my opinion. Others may see it differently.

        Peace
        _____________________________

        They call me Sinful for a reason.....
        Think about it.....

        _____________________________

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanx, ..An Yea, Now That I Have Posted And Got Some Feedback, I Can See
          That Most People, Mostly From Here, Might Read It The Wrong Way Just Because The Battles
          Are Dont An Set Up That Way(For Most Atleast)
          I Just Felt, This Way Was Easier For "Me" To Read Also Like Organizing IT..

          But I Feel Ya, Maybe That Will Be One Of The Things Ill Change, When Editing

          Gained a couple fans had to make a transition

          But i'm still in the hood like a transmission

          Comment


          • #6
            Whoever bad repped for my post in this thread (Moron) it was a waste of time. It took nothing off rep points at all. And as for your comments i.e. that I am a waste of semen... You really need to take a good look in the mirror and realise that you need to grow up and stop wasting other people precious oxygen by being alive.
            _____________________________

            They call me Sinful for a reason.....
            Think about it.....

            _____________________________

            Comment

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