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Drayno

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  • Drayno

    All I wangt do
    Is stand next to you
    Offer you a brew
    Or two
    Ask you if we went to
    School
    Lets head back to my house if thats
    Cool
    I got a warm
    pool, and a jac
    cuuuz
    If ya snort I even got food
    And no not my refreig
    Cause that wud give u more reason
    To call me a recject
    and
    Refuse my offer for
    Deep sex
    But i wana please that
    So i thnk fast
    Wrap my dick in plast
    Now shes having a blast
    But
    Cant talk
    Cause my dicks
    Backed up the toilet
    Soiled the blanket
    With my fast trick
    Bitch
    I'm out slick


    I might have to add audio, I read it to myself and it sounds plain but my flow for it is good.
    Last time I had a fight, I killed the guy cause of watching FIGHT VIDEOS. Get free FIGHT VIDEOS at Whytze's Fight Corner.

    www.Whytze.com

  • #2
    you lacking in vocab, metaphors, multis, and the whole thing just seems too simple

    Comment


    • #3
      ^^ Dido

      U really need to set out your rhymes better. And get some vocab. Try rhymin some more complez words.

      Peace
      _____________________________

      They call me Sinful for a reason.....
      Think about it.....

      _____________________________

      Comment


      • #4
        Well it has internal rhymes in the sentences, but that structure just ain't working for me dawg.
        [email protected] Crew - NBK
        Hostile - Disrespek - J Rude - Joker - Yung Rice - Perk - Hitman Tez - Wild Card - E Mic - Ace - Sixxx

        Comment


        • #5
          Section C, you need to elevate a lot more still.............

          Comment

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