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Miracle

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  • Miracle

    The mirale capability drowns-the-effects
    Of prayer deep in the mind found-in-rest
    Nesting in our thoughs, somewhere-lies-God
    Despite hatred, with the love comes-cares-pried-thoughts
    With a tip of a pencil, mind-boggling-ideas-concure
    With the care of love, no time-jogging-fear-concerns
    The brain cells of those, with the belief
    That some day like Tsunamis, there'll be relief (Tsunami relief efforts)
    Hearts can beat at a regular pace-one-again
    Godly efforts, yet everyday I'm faced-with-sins
    If only the world could concure-to-God
    Perhaps the world wouldn't churn-with-rods
    Of the misplacement we earn-for-sobs
    Love, live life, proceed, progress

  • #2
    Your peices are getting more and more abstract... I understand them but in they dont make sense totally in the traditional sense. I like this line, but does it totaly make sense?

    With a tip of a pencil, mind-boggling-ideas-concure
    With the care of love, no time-jogging-fear-concerns

    I get the frist line, and it's cool. but time-jogging-fear-concerns just sounds like gibberish to me.

    Maybe it's just that my style is more grounded so I don't appreciate the abstract as much. Multies obvously are amazing.

    Keep up.

    Comment


    • #3
      yo furl i love the multis n they r brillaint,keep it up n each piece seems 2 get more n more complex as u grow as a writer but id like 2 c u write sumthing harder like fighing or wats happin in the world 2 c wat type of shit u spit then but thats jus me though i still love ur pieces,keep at it

      peace
      You ain't got a truck that's hooked up with rims
      Kids'll see you like "damn, why I looked up to him?

      Comment


      • #4
        agree with all they say. piece was tight , dont know what else to say cuz they said everything

        Comment


        • #5
          Fine piece like most your content I've checked
          Liked the multi's - guess most of your content makes sense if you properly think
          Overall piece is hot

          Keep @ it

          Comment


          • #6
            Do you use a rhyming dictionary now? It appears that you're using more multis now. The problem is that some of the multis aren't the same amount of syllables. Try to work on that.

            Other than that, it's a tight piece. It's easier to understand this time. The content is great too.

            Peace.
            P!

            Comment


            • #7
              ^^ I agree with pandemic. But still a top quality drop.

              Loved this

              Nesting in our thoughs, somewhere-lies-God
              Despite hatred, with the love comes-cares-pried-thoughts
              _____________________________

              They call me Sinful for a reason.....
              Think about it.....

              _____________________________

              Comment


              • #8
                YAY! It's loved! I love gettin' feedback, especially postive feedback. Such as how to improve, or that it is already tight. Thanks guys. No pandemic, I don't use a rhyming dictionary.

                But to really understand my multis, you have to think about it.

                The "Time-jogging-fear-concerns," is basically a fear that makes time go by, and as it goes by, you grow more afraid. "Time-jogging..." Get it now? And basically, I'm saying that if you believe, it won't "concern" you.

                Get it?

                I hope that clears up some confusion.
                Love, live life, proceed, progress

                Comment

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