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Determination.... REP FOR FEED!!

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  • Axis
    replied
    *bump*

    Leave a comment:


  • Axis
    replied
    Thnks for feed...I think this is the first time I've actually got good feed...

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I like the hook alot so I think u should keep it. Yea their was great imagery but I dont get the message of the song yet really. Is it how much one can withstand. BTW jus save your reps could u give me feed for my 16 on here. Thx

    Leave a comment:


  • Vokab
    replied
    Not bad Axis, I like how nature is trying to kill you.. maybe its trying to fix one of its mistakes...

    LOL jk, the flow was good, and you told a story, so punchlines arent really an issue, good verse

    Leave a comment:


  • Axis
    replied
    thnks...yeah i'm not sure what i was writing....i have some sick picture in my head i was trying to explain but i guess it didn't come across...I didn't really take my time...just wrote what came to the brain...not quite a keystyle...but nothin' that took time..
    RePPED

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  • EvilSpecialist
    replied
    message was unclear, and i see the imagery, but i dont understand it
    adding a couple multis would look nice

    keep @ it

    Leave a comment:


  • Axis
    started a topic Determination.... REP FOR FEED!!

    Determination.... REP FOR FEED!!

    I feel like typin' somethin'....so here we go...

    Risin' up from the depths of the underworld//
    Meetin' on the surface with ragin' thunder, and the lighting twirled//
    A huge congragation of electricity//
    Met directly over my head, a straight shot to visit me//
    Shocked my organs to nothin' but cinders//
    And when the vilonent storm ceased, I was the winner//
    An army of rain was then sent to destroy me//
    But this was harmless, it could not deploy me//
    My body weatherd, but still I still proceded//
    Lasherasions everywhere, bloodied and beatin'//
    In my head I new I couldn't be defeated//
    The storm repteaded but my will was depleatin'//
    Face buried in mud, come up spittin' out blood, burin' lungs//
    Exaushtion...blood drippin' to the ground off my tongue//
    Persperation...condensing anywhere possible//
    On one knee lookin' forward, sayin' I can beat any obstacle//

    [hook]
    I CAN'T BE STOPPED//
    BODY WON'T EVER DROP//
    MY HEART WON'T EVER MIS A BEAT AND STOP//

    I'VE BEEN HIT, BUT STAND STRONG AS A BOULDER//
    YOU CAN NEVER TAKE OUT ONE OF GODS SOLDIERS//



    Hook may need work...
    Last edited by Axis; 09-10-2005, 09:29 PM.

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