Determination.... REP FOR FEED!!

[Axis]

*bump*

[Axis]

Thnks for feed...I think this is the first time I've actually got good feed...

I like the hook alot so I think u should keep it. Yea their was great imagery but I dont get the message of the song yet really. Is it how much one can withstand. BTW jus save your reps could u give me feed for my 16 on here. Thx

[Vokab]

Not bad Axis, I like how nature is trying to kill you.. maybe its trying to fix one of its mistakes...

LOL jk, the flow was good, and you told a story, so punchlines arent really an issue, good verse

[Axis]

thnks...yeah i'm not sure what i was writing....i have some sick picture in my head i was trying to explain but i guess it didn't come across...I didn't really take my time...just wrote what came to the brain...not quite a keystyle...but nothin' that took time..
RePPED

[EvilSpecialist]

message was unclear, and i see the imagery, but i dont understand it
adding a couple multis would look nice

keep @ it

[Axis]

I feel like typin' somethin'....so here we go...

Risin' up from the depths of the underworld//
Meetin' on the surface with ragin' thunder, and the lighting twirled//
A huge congragation of electricity//
Met directly over my head, a straight shot to visit me//
Shocked my organs to nothin' but cinders//
And when the vilonent storm ceased, I was the winner//
An army of rain was then sent to destroy me//
But this was harmless, it could not deploy me//
My body weatherd, but still I still proceded//
Lasherasions everywhere, bloodied and beatin'//
In my head I new I couldn't be defeated//
The storm repteaded but my will was depleatin'//
Face buried in mud, come up spittin' out blood, burin' lungs//
Exaushtion...blood drippin' to the ground off my tongue//
Persperation...condensing anywhere possible//
On one knee lookin' forward, sayin' I can beat any obstacle//

[hook]
I CAN'T BE STOPPED//
BODY WON'T EVER DROP//
MY HEART WON'T EVER MIS A BEAT AND STOP//

I'VE BEEN HIT, BUT STAND STRONG AS A BOULDER//
YOU CAN NEVER TAKE OUT ONE OF GODS SOLDIERS//



Hook may need work...