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Stranded thoughts [song - rep if any feed]

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  • Stranded thoughts [song - rep if any feed]

    no concerns no cares my growing stages got me heartless
    inturn of fear from devestations apparatus
    consuming time tryna write with an empty mind
    confusing signs captured insight including plenty crimes
    atmosphere surrounding me known to be tense
    under stress with day's astounding, showing me suspense
    tryna erase my past tense coz it's hurting my soul
    think of my first love - when we last met deserting my control
    wonder if the constant stress n the pressure is mandatory
    displeasure like thunder's responsive depth, a damned story
    realise noone defines perfection but what if it was taken
    evil eyes with blind perception destructing living situations
    this nation seems like unity will mainly stay a need
    due to havoc in communities which plainly portray greed

    present times got me facing these stranded thoughts
    unpleasant mind got me blazing these tampered sorts
    tryna relocate get to where i could find peace
    thgh i see more hate like everyday in these blind streets

    motivated to survive in a cycle to die
    only embracement provides my revival to try
    question sanctity as to have i felt it's reality
    mention insanity exposed from dealt confidentiality
    invitation of demise awaiting every corner
    thgh limitation prescribed stating a cleverly persona
    devilistic motives got me calling god's assistance
    to help evict them erase my falling prior to gone resistance
    striving satisfactions thinking of any resolvement
    life in static factions despise sinking in involvement
    remain lion hearted rather an ace then a snake
    aint no lying about it dont let disaster's state infiltrate

    present times got me facing these stranded thoughts
    unpleasant mind got me blazing these tampered sorts
    tryna relocate get to where i could find peace
    thgh i see more hate like everyday in these blind streets
    Last edited by grandhustle19; 09-12-2005, 01:15 AM.

  • #2
    Flow and vocab were nice. Loved the chourus
    _____________________________

    They call me Sinful for a reason.....
    Think about it.....

    _____________________________

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks man i'll keep in mind i have to rep you SinFul

      keep @ it man

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm sorry this time on not saying this out of spite, but: the bars don't make sense.

        "inturn of fear from devestations apparatus"

        I mean what the fuck is a "devestation apparatus?" A device that destroys things? So you are afraid of a tool that hurts things, but the bar before says you are heartless and unfearing. That's contradictory.

        It's like you are trying to do a bunch of multies, be abstact and have good vocabulary but forgot that hip hop is supposed to make sense.

        That's my feed, negative rep me if you want.

        Comment


        • #5
          i understand what your getting at

          first line generally meant growing stages lead to the type of person having no concern no cares meaning becoming practically heartless
          n also included in those growing stages was fear which could also be considered as paranoia or alarm in devestations apparatus which apparatus could be meant as setup also yeah it's mainly considered as a device or tool or machinery i mean think on a multiple perspective
          if u were a gangster it could be a fuckin callibre for all that matters jus generally sayin devestation's setup causin alarm included in the growin stages which lead to no concerns no cares i mean this aint gettin judged by a school teacher its poetic expression n sense can only be made to a person with an open mind if it is to include multi's n content to enhance the flow only my opinion thgh if it still doesnt make sense all good i like everyone else need elevating

          Comment


          • #6
            i think the flow was good overall and i like the rhyme scheme/multis ect good verse and I liked the hook too
            Lyrical Underground Assassin King

            XEXAK

            X-Traordinarily Exotic X-Treme AssassinatinKingz




            Comment


            • #7
              thanks for the feed man
              keep in mind i gotta rep you

              keep at it man

              Comment


              • #8
                Nice drop was feeling the flow and the vocab is up there but the multies if you expand on them and add one "set" at the begining of the 2nd line it makes the flow hotter just some advice nice drop man check out mine [Final Hour]

                Mafia


                74(53 Won By K.O)-13(9 Loss By K.O)
                -Last Яooked-
                ...Scripture & BulletProof[KO'd]...
                Untouchable Lyricistz

                Av By ClearCutDesigns
                I get more head than pillows
                Freestyle Master

                Comment


                • #9
                  Nice Flow and vocab man..... keep it up dawg!!! 8/10
                  Didn't you know
                  i was waiting on you
                  Waiting on a dream
                  that'll never come true
                  Didn't you know
                  i was waiting on you
                  My face turnt to stone
                  when i heard the news

                  Kanye West-Bad News

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    ^u aint got no room to talk, u've only wrote one decent song in ur whole life, and that one was with me, go eat a cock u blind ass illiterate bitch, i did too fucking message u, I JUST NOW PM-ED U, i dunno if u blocked me or what, but u a fucking a pussy, a god damn coward

                    wrote u 2 disses in the rookie battle forums, bitchk, i can crush u in a battle, u aint shit but a weak protege of dawg pound, get ya shit str8, stay in line, u dont belong here, go dick ride youngproof
                    Originally posted by Realize
                    evilspecialist has always been a god of poetry even before his join date of june 04

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      but i got school, u dont rap anymore, so dont bite more than u can chew, if u aint been battling or rapping, u fell off, u aint been in shape to even battle, go battle meanj or beatz, come back when u elevate
                      Originally posted by Realize
                      evilspecialist has always been a god of poetry even before his join date of june 04

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thanks for feed n advice abt multi's from rOOk n PSHYCO
                        n ill check out Final Hour man

                        peace

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by EvilSpecialist
                          ^u aint got no room to talk, u've only wrote one decent song in ur whole life, and that one was with me, go eat a cock u blind ass illiterate bitch, i did too fucking message u, I JUST NOW PM-ED U, i dunno if u blocked me or what, but u a fucking a pussy, a god damn coward

                          wrote u 2 disses in the rookie battle forums, bitchk, i can crush u in a battle, u aint shit but a weak protege of dawg pound, get ya shit str8, stay in line, u dont belong here, go dick ride youngproof

                          Big talk commin from a 14 year old pussy..... come on man all u do is wait till I get on just so u can ride me, diss me, then post shit about how I don't respond....

                          U right I did only do 1 good song but guess wat?? I did 1 did'nt I? and u pussy need ta stop followin me like a fuckin scared dawg u lil bitch... GET A FUCKIN LIFE!!!!! I would battle u but u have oh so many dick riders it don't make since.... tell ya wat u wanna battle ta settle it fine but only ppl wit 1200 post or more can vote..... it'll probly happen Friday so be ready...... till then STOP RIDIN ME EVERY WHERE I GO!!!!!!
                          Didn't you know
                          i was waiting on you
                          Waiting on a dream
                          that'll never come true
                          Didn't you know
                          i was waiting on you
                          My face turnt to stone
                          when i heard the news

                          Kanye West-Bad News

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by P5YCHO
                            Big talk commin from a 14 year old pussy..... come on man all u do is wait till I get on just so u can ride me, diss me, then post shit about how I don't respond....

                            U right I did only do 1 good song but guess wat?? I did 1 did'nt I? and u pussy need ta stop followin me like a fuckin scared dawg u lil bitch... GET A FUCKIN LIFE!!!!! I would battle u but u have oh so many dick riders it don't make since.... tell ya wat u wanna battle ta settle it fine but only ppl wit 1200 post or more can vote..... it'll probly happen Friday so be ready...... till then STOP RIDIN ME EVERY WHERE I GO!!!!!!
                            oh yea? all u do is get on and PM me going 'im gon' kill u' bla-bla-bla, e-beef is so 6th grade, and ur older than me, and u started it, so u just making urself look bad, so keep going, friday huh? gon' get some pre-write some shit? aiight do it, i'll still crush u

                            dick riders? its called respect, and im respected when it comes to alot of stuff, im not overrated, im not underrated, i spit a verse, people vote in a battle, i dont win, thats fine, but remember this, no matter how many times u PM going 'we got beef' im still gon' better than u, remember that, and fuck ur daughter
                            Last edited by EvilSpecialist; 09-13-2005, 03:20 PM.
                            Originally posted by Realize
                            evilspecialist has always been a god of poetry even before his join date of june 04

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by grandhustle19
                              Thanks for feed n advice abt multi's from rOOk n PSHYCO
                              n ill check out Final Hour man

                              peace
                              dont take advice from p5ycho, its a waste of time, he dunno the first thing about a good write, he has to dick ride people he does songs with to even begin to get respect

                              but, the rap u wrote wasnt all that bad, keep @ it
                              Originally posted by Realize
                              evilspecialist has always been a god of poetry even before his join date of june 04

                              Comment

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