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another thread (con i did it about violence)

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  • CoNtRoVeRsIaL
    replied
    .............

    Yo,I Thought ur rhyme was tight compared 2 ur other one lol.It was good.But i agree with my ***** illrun about tha multiple rhymes.Concept was tight and most of tha wordz rhymed..Good Job..Keep it up.

    Leave a comment:


  • rappin_iz_tops
    replied
    ta...for feedback :-)

    Thanx hun, i guess i will try that next time, but i didnt really have an prep time 4 dis one! This is liek the 1st proper rap that ive actually dun, but thanx for the feedback neway!

    Lady Rapper

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  • Illrun
    replied
    Yo i thought it was alrite, you a lil gangsta girl huh?

    Ill just suggest that you use multiple rhymes, that verse only had 2 bar rhymes, rhyme the sounds more than once to show your skill.Just keep at it.

    PEACE

    Leave a comment:


  • rappin_iz_tops
    started a topic another thread (con i did it about violence)

    another thread (con i did it about violence)

    dat gangsta approached, he blew up da pace/
    heads blown off, they were missing a face/
    an army of *****z fired their rounds/
    this shit blew up, these paraletic sounds/
    Hoes dumped in alleys, they were left to die/
    their kids screaming "mommy" no father in sight//
    This fatal attack caused uproar and rage/
    a total burnout within, a complete rampage//
    A heard of people, shot dead as they run/
    run away from these gangstaz that fuck up their harmless minds from a gun/
    Houses burned down, families destroyed/
    *****z turn to violence suffering from fuckin typhoid//
    escapeism restored as they battle it out/
    hoes seeing red as they continue to shout/
    "Yo motherfuckin *****z dont shit on me"/
    *****z reply "we'll shit on you, like easy E"/
    the battle continues, people glorified with bitches/
    Robbing money from the poor, stealing all their riches/

    I dunno if thats any good, but thats my thread, im rather new to this whole rapping thing so i accept criticism, but id like help in carrying it on so rate this, and post your suggestions, Ta

    Lady rapper

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