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    This is anotha of my rhymes!!

    It goes out to my G 5lim5hady!! Yo man it aint bout ya but this shit be dedicated to ya!!

    Remember me im tha one from yo VIOLENT DREAMS\\
    Tha one dat wakes u up to, those SILENT SCREAMS\\
    Yo white ass be goin crazy it SEEMS\\
    Those vocies u hear tha wishpers TO KILL\\
    Tha ones dat tell u dat death is a TRUE THRILL\\
    I know all this talk bout death makes U ILL
    But u aint stoppin all this UNTIL
    I tell u but deep down inside u like all this blood SPILL
    I can tell , u like it , u have tha SKILL
    To cause a mass number of people great PAIN\\
    Ur mentally unstable and u'll never MANTAIN\\
    Now 40 people dead and u were TO BLAIM\\
    But i was tha one dat drove u INSANE\\
    One day u'll be put away and ill haunt u THERE\\
    Ill make u stop breathin and gaspin for AIR\\
    U cant hide from me im in ur HEAD\\
    After all ill put u through u'll wish u were DEAD\\
    "Kill yo self" u know u WANNA\\
    Cos if u dont do it u know im GONNA\\
    "U cant stop me" ill skull fuck ya in UR SLEEP\\
    Leave u to death in a ROTTEN HEAP\\
    God cant help ya now , i put him to SLEEP TOO\\
    But there is one guy named satin who wants to MEET U\\
    Tha way those people died under my WATCHFUL EYE\\
    U made alot of familys BREAK DOWN and CRY\\
    U have tha talent i never had u make me FROWN and SIGH
    U can never faze me im with u for an INTERNITY\\
    Im tha ghost of death and they call me tha X-TACY\\

    Be honest in ur replies!!

    PEACE
    Last edited by X-TACY; 07-23-2001, 05:36 AM.
    .: Ruban Bates :.
    --------------------------------------
    (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
    --------------------------------------

  • #2
    Yo nice concept, flowed well.Wouldve been cool if it was a little longer but it got the message across.Nice rhyme dogg

    PEACE
    The only thing worse than the wretched pain in my mouth is the excrement spewing from yours-Stewie Griffen

    ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME

    R.I.P ~ Tupac Shakur-my biggest musical inspiration…you are missed everyday

    Comment


    • #3
      Aight.....

      Yo,X...Tight rhymes i aint gonna lie.But you could fill in tha spaces.Like you would rhyme 2 lines and start off with another rhyme that only rhymed 2 lines...It didnt flow smooth because of that.But other than that it was tight,concept was good.

      Here's what i was talkin bout with ur 2 line rhyme..:
      "They'r me,and ill cause u great PAIN/Ur mentally unstable,and ull never MAINTAIN/Oneday ull be put away and ill haunt you there/
      Then it goes into AIR and then HEAD...Dead..Just make ur rhyme flow into those wordz ya feel me?

      Comment


      • #4
        OK

        Yo to tha 2 cats Illrun and CoNtRoVeRsIaL thanks for tha posts!!

        And to CON yeah i understand ya G ill try dat more!!

        Check out my otha thread - Dalux this here is for u - and post a reply on what ya think!!

        I really need opions!!

        PEACE
        .: Ruban Bates :.
        --------------------------------------
        (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
        --------------------------------------

        Comment


        • #5
          Come on peeps........

          Come on people REPLY!!

          come on rate my shit!!

          i need OPIONS!!

          PEACE!!
          .: Ruban Bates :.
          --------------------------------------
          (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
          --------------------------------------

          Comment


          • #6
            yeah!

            yeah dawg som ill sht right there!!!
            tight rhymes g!
            keep flowin


            PeAcE...
            shit can happen?
            nah fuck dat!
            SHIT HAPPENS!!!

            Comment


            • #7
              Yo POST DAT SHIT UP............

              Yo thanks G for tha post!! yo one of those type of *****s dat tells people what yo think bout tha rhyme!! unlike tha otha 30 odd FUCKS dat viewed this thread and dint post up SHIT!!

              Thanks alot poeple!! uve been a real HELP!!

              KEEP POSTIN

              PEACE........
              .: Ruban Bates :.
              --------------------------------------
              (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
              --------------------------------------

              Comment


              • #8
                YO X I AGREE WIT WUT CON SED U NEED 2 TRY DOING A 20 BAR RHYME just rhyming 1 word,eg incompleat,beat,elite,deseat.

                keep that rhyme going fro as long as u can then it will flow mutch better

                post a new freestyle doing that and ull improve loads,also try 2 use bigger word inbetween your sentances,anyway dawg ur getting better
                http://www.overgrow.com/edge/gallery/6687/m.i.c.jpg
                Respect to lil ells for hosting my pic

                Originally posted by M.I.C.
                I quit this battle, this is CORRUPT!!!!!

                M.I.C you and everyone on this board is Corrupt!!!!!!
                M.I.C. WAS LOOSING OUR NAME BATTLE WITH 1 DAY TO GO SO HE QUIT. he is no man and i have lost all respect i had for him.

                Comment


                • #9
                  THANKS

                  Thanks for tha advice G!! ill try dat shit in my next rhyme!!

                  I will post my next one up and ill tell yo ass bout it so ya can check it and tell us wot yo think!!

                  PECAE
                  .: Ruban Bates :.
                  --------------------------------------
                  (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
                  --------------------------------------

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    yo it was pretty tight, but the first half of the verse had strictly one syllable rhymes, that makes it sound kind of monotonous, other wise good flow. keep em comin
                    What the hell can i say I'm just a rookie/ but if you happen to come my way don't over look me

                    wins:

                    losses: Johnny Blazez

                    "I couldn't help but notice your pain"

                    -"My pain?"

                    "It runs deep...share it with me!"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      my opinion on your shit

                      x-tacy u need to add an extra b after your name for bitch cus you shit is extra weak. trick cant u see im messin take a lesson more rhymin words will make your shit progressive. i mean u got good shit u just need to tone it up . more rhymes a line and your shit could be blowin up.


                      dawg your shit is raw but you need to rhyme your lines better.you just rhyme the last words. u need to work the right amount of syllables and shit and rhyme it more. but i think u r fuckin tight but take my advice dawg and write sumpthin new aight....

                      ~never forget me im shaun shizzy~
                      Charmed hell no what the fuck am i lucky fuck me im off the heezy so ya know what.... nothing

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        OK

                        Yo to all yo Gz who be given me advice!! THANKS yo be helpin my white ass to improve on this shit!!

                        Hey check it i kinda change it up a bit!! Tha verse dat is!!

                        KEEP POSTIN I NEED ALL THA HELP I CAN GET!!

                        PEACE!!
                        .: Ruban Bates :.
                        --------------------------------------
                        (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
                        --------------------------------------

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          COME ON..............

                          RATE THIS SHIT!!

                          I need Op's!!

                          PEACE.........
                          .: Ruban Bates :.
                          --------------------------------------
                          (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
                          --------------------------------------

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            X-tacy....u gettin better man..good job. Keep posting...
                            Rhyme & Reason
                            Follow me on Twitter: @Eyerone
                            #classreunionmuzik
                            Check out my newest freestyle: Eyerone "Can't Tell Me Nothin" http://bln.kr/14VV/

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Lookin for OP's...............

                              Thanks G its nice to know dat SHIT!!

                              Keep postin ur op's!!

                              PEACE...............
                              .: Ruban Bates :.
                              --------------------------------------
                              (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
                              --------------------------------------

                              Comment

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