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"Fault of the Lost Direction (If I Died Tonight Pt. II)" (Personal shit)

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  • "Fault of the Lost Direction (If I Died Tonight Pt. II)" (Personal shit)

    I'm waitin' for Rick to get on this, but for now here's my verse.

    I know itís wrong, but feel suited for low self-esteem
    I know itís a setback and my cause for broken dreams
    They say the struggle brings out that inner power
    It never molded me into shape, it made me a coward
    I know ainít been through the worst, but I just canít stand
    It makes me feel worthless when I canít be a man
    I donít have anything I can bring to the table
    I canít save a life and mine shouldíve been took in the cradle
    How can a useless motherfucker like me be fed
    while others work their asses off and they end up dead?
    The only thing I contribute to is the demise of humanity
    Iím reachiní insanity; itís not how I plan to be
    Itís just everyday that Iím feeliní so empty
    People gave me chances, but after resent me
    Is my purpose on this planet to be despised to the rest?
    It hurts me when I set my eyes on the best
    I see their contributions and their capabilities,
    but Iím intimidated by all the responsibilities
    My self-esteem ainít helpiní when Iím the target for hate
    I can even hate myself Ďcuz I feel itís too late
    I feel alone with this feeliní, so I hope some here relate
    Is it selfish for me to want someone to feel my sorrow?
    I donít wanna feel more regret when I here tomorrow

    [Chorus x2]
    Save your sympathy 'cuz the others are needy
    I ain't the type of person that wants to be greedy
    All I need is a second chance to be worthy
    I just wanna be advanced in this earth, see

    Peace.
    P!

  • #2
    Hey man,

    This sort of reminds me of something I might've written in the recent past.. It was really dope.

    They say the struggle brings out that inner power
    It never molded me into shape, it made me a coward


    I can definately understand where you're comin' from with that.

    I see their contributions and their capabilities,
    but I’m intimidated by all the responsibilities


    Another bit I can understand.. I relate to the whole piece though. I've definately been there before. I really liked this. You, Rick and Symptom are the only people I really come here to read anymore these days. I just don't always reply.

    I've recently just got back into this sort of writing.. ditched it for more poetry, non rhyming type stuff.. But, if you're ever up for a collab of some sorts I'll be down.

    Once again, great stuff ..
    Now let the night be dark for all of me.
    Let the night be too dark for me to see
    Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

    Comment


    • #3
      7 Digit! Stand up, yeah man I'll get on it. I just woke up and today's my day off so let me do whatever I gotta do and I'll see what I can come up with .
      The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

      I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

      With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


      Got It?

      Comment


      • #4
        i was feelin this alot.
        I think the hook could have been better but alot of people have problems with hooks.
        The only thing I contribute to is the demise of humanity
        I’m reachin’ insanity; it’s not how I plan to be
        It’s just everyday that I’m feelin’ so empty
        People gave me chances, but after resent me
        Is my purpose on this planet to be despised to the rest?
        It hurts me when I set my eyes on the best
        I see their contributions and their capabilities,
        but I’m intimidated by all the responsibilities
        I personally reckon that was the best part of it, i could just sorta feel the emotion you put into it, especially the last 2 bars.
        Good work man and i'd like to see another verse for this off you or maybe audio.
        OH HAI!

        Comment


        • #5
          I think it was in a way something i could relate to very closely and have had that feeling before. it was impressive and the desperation did come across tome but maybe not entirely so maybe that could have been stressed more. Good work, none of it really stands out bar for bar i like to think that the whole thing as a piece of work stands out more and i think the vocab and flow did do this and make it a nice consistent piece but not OUTSTANDING. Keep writing!
          twitter.com/thisistc

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks a lot for everyone's feed. At least y'all know how to make use of the important things you get.

            Peace.
            P!

            Comment


            • #7
              Wow, this was nice indeed. The multis were kickin', and everything. You executed this nicely. I had better feed for this, but this ad thingy came up whenever I hit to post it up, and then the feed got erased.

              But in a nut shell, if you are feeling how you really are feeling in this song, try to find some happy to occupy your time, but don't hide from reality. Face your problems, but don't do it in a dangerous way.

              Fave line:

              The only thing I contribute to is the demise of humanity
              I’m reachin’ insanity; it’s not how I plan to be
              ^I dunno, it's the internal-rhyming-multiple syllable scheme ya got goin' there, and the fact that it's so real.

              Keep it up.
              Love, live life, proceed, progress

              Comment


              • #8
                Yeah, I really do feel this way. If you got to know me, you'd find out that I can't really do much shit. At least y'all know how to take in the important shit you need (like education) and make good use of it to make somethin' outta yourselves. Plus it's just hard for me when I lose support and have difficulty gainin' some. I wanna make somethin' outta myself and contribute a whole lot to make the world a better place. I know I ain't go through the worst and I feel like shit for not even bein' able to stand the level of shit I go through. Shit makes me feel even more worthless. Shit is true.

                I'm also gonna have a second verse so look out for that along with Rick's verse. Thanks for the feedback

                Peace.
                Last edited by pandemic; 03-23-2006, 06:47 PM.
                P!

                Comment


                • #9
                  ^Yea, I understand what you're saying, but what's important is to not think about all that negative stuff you are focusing your aspects of your life on. The only support system you need is yourself - and you can do wonders with just that.

                  The acheive, you have to believe.
                  Love, live life, proceed, progress

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'm still gonna get on this don't worry, I've just been drinkin to much I haven't gotten around to it but I'll try and write my verse after work. Right now it's 3:39 am and I accidently set my alarm to go off 2 hrs earlier then I need. I'm a fuckin' jackass I know, so yeah be patient I'll get to this as soon as I've filled it all out.
                    The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

                    I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

                    With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


                    Got It?

                    Comment

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