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  • "Think U Fly"- Ridiculous Rick

    The second verse is better then the first but check this out I wrote this at work in between calls.


    "Think U Fly"-Ridiculous Rick

    Verse #1:
    Ya'll need ta stop, you think you fly but you not,
    I maybe cold but you ain't hot, you got no plots,
    Strayin' off with no direction, claimin perfection,
    You have no collection, of any reception,
    Near sighted with no reflection, your souless,
    Ya need to widin' your scope here take a swish,
    Spit it out ya feel refreshed?, feel comfort in your flesh?,
    Bet not you think you've got a bullet proof chest,
    Ain't directed at anyone personally just those who think best,
    When their rhymes are stale, carryin' no weight on the scale,
    Like teen females who fail to eat no bodies and frail,
    Makin' me puke at what you clowns put in the juke,
    I ain't spooked by you kooks bring your troops,
    You ain't sick ditch the soups, like Iraq you ain't got no nukes,
    Thinkin' you fly can't roll without your groups,
    Real men stand alone real men know their roots.


    Hook:
    You the type a guy who think you fly,
    Think you sly, think you can't die,
    Dead man talkin' your old and mummified,
    All lies, real recognize real I'm preoccupied.


    Verse #2:
    Now in verse two I hope to provide a clue,
    That the game needs review, and need to be renewed,
    Were in need of spring cleaning out with trash,
    Out with the cash that just seems to harrass,
    In with a cast, that's ready to lash on beats,
    Not ones who only sneak in one hot treat,
    To meet their $ peak ask me I call em theifs,
    In a world with so much grief they refuse to speak,
    They lie blinded by greed and I know they see,
    But they just wanna be profitee's, it's hypocracy,
    I thought artists were here to create and state,
    A way for all to relate not generate hate,
    But the case is we got more beef then a supermarket,
    It's all hate words of violence waitin' to spark it,
    All these rappers claim and think they fly,
    But what happens when your music makes one die?
    Save the music....


    Hook:
    You the type a guy who think you fly,
    Think you sly, think you can't die,
    Dead man talkin' your old and mummified,
    All lies, real recognize real I'm preoccupied.



    Holler,(T)
    Rick
    Last edited by New Guy; 04-16-2006, 09:36 PM.
    The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

    I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

    With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


    Got It?


  • #2
    Its aiight, you coulda came much better, and the hok is too short. pleas crit my verse"Old New face

    Comment


    • #3
      Reminds me of some Will Smith "Mr.Nice Guy" ish. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing, I loved that track.

      Could have come way harder, but it was nice seen as it wasnt directed at anyone personally you didnt really need to come all that hard.
      Esteemed Entity

      Illusory|Retro Fo|DuPoint|Check|Fitz|Pawl Derty|InK|Teknique


      Check out my 4K post shoutoutz

      http://www.d12world.com/board/showthread.php?t=318243

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks.
        The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

        I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

        With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


        Got It?

        Comment


        • #5
          I only really read verse 1, skimmed 2...I liked what I read though...
          Download my new mixtape "Public Axis Vol. 1" http://www.sendspace.com/file/7527jn
          New Beats: www.soundclick.com/axisproductions
          Mixing/Mastering available! PM for details.

          Comment


          • #6
            Fair enough.
            The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

            I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

            With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


            Got It?

            Comment


            • #7
              ^
              The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

              I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

              With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


              Got It?

              Comment


              • #8
                ^
                The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

                I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

                With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


                Got It?

                Comment


                • #9
                  ^
                  The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

                  I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

                  With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


                  Got It?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I like this piece. Definitely feeling the message that was flowed through the words of Ridiculous Rick being squared to be "R2," you silly guy.

                    I was definitely feeling the ending of the second verse, and the last line of the chrous. Your vocab spoke for itself, as long as some of the multis you used, and some of those internal rhymes. I would just polish up the first two lines because they seem a little too simplistic for my liking. But then again, I didn't write this, you did. Do what makes YOU feel best, but I just think it's too simplistic at the beginning.

                    Other than that, pretty nice work.
                    Love, live life, proceed, progress

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Rhymez_Internal
                      The second verse is better then the first but check this out I wrote this at work in between calls.
                      "Think U Fly"-Ridiculous Rick
                      Verse #1:
                      Ya'll need ta stop, you think you fly but you not,
                      I maybe cold but you ain't hot, you got no plots,
                      Strayin' off with no direction, claimin perfection,
                      You have no collection, of any reception,
                      Near sighted with no reflection, your souless,
                      Ya need to widin' your scope here take a swish,
                      Spit it out ya feel refreshed?, feel comfort in your flesh?,
                      Bet not you think you've got a bullet proof chest,
                      Ain't directed at anyone personally just those who think best,
                      When their rhymes are stale, carryin' no weight on the scale,
                      Like teen females who fail to eat no bodies and frail,
                      Makin' me puke at what you clowns put in the juke,
                      I ain't spooked by you kooks bring your troops,
                      You ain't sick ditch the soups, like Iraq you ain't got no nukes,
                      Thinkin' you fly can't roll without your groups,
                      Real men stand alone real me know their roots.
                      Hook:
                      You the type a guy who think you fly,
                      Think you sly, think you can't die,
                      Dead man talkin' your old and mummified,
                      All lies, real recognize real I'm preoccupied.
                      Verse #2:
                      Now in verse two I hope to provide a clue,
                      That the game needs review, and need to be renewed,
                      Were in need of spring cleaning out with trash,
                      Out with the cash that just seems to harrass,
                      In with a cast, that's ready to lash on beats,
                      Not ones who only sneak in one hot treat,
                      To meet their $ peak ask me I call em theifs,
                      In a world with so much grief they refuse to speak,
                      They lie blinded by greed and I know they see,
                      But they just wanna be profitee's, it's hypocracy,
                      I thought artists were here to create and state,
                      Away for all to relate not generate hate,
                      But the case is we got more beef then a supermarket,
                      It's all hate words of violence waitin' to spark it,
                      All these rappers claim and think they fly,
                      But what happens when your music makes one die?
                      Save the music....
                      Hook:
                      You the type a guy who think you fly,
                      Think you sly, think you can't die,
                      Dead man talkin' your old and mummified,
                      All lies, real recognize real I'm preoccupied.
                      Holler,(T)
                      Rick
                      Yo...lyrically its dope. But forreal, try writing to a beat it may help u alot. Or atleast write it out then rap it to a beat and make necessary changes. Dope nonetheless...
                      Anyone who defies my alliances can die in a lion's pit....

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Not bad, nice vocab, really good flow. But I think it could've used some more multis, you had tons of internal rhymes but very few multis at the end of bars. Also could've used some wordplay and punchlines just to spice things up, it was a solid song, but no parts of it made me go dayyyyymmmmeeee.

                        It was a good peice, technically it was superb, but I think it could use some work on the creative side of things.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'd give you rep but I have to spread some around, and I just don't give rep to anyone so.... Anyway, thanks for your honesty I've never really been good with being clever really, I just like to keep it honest. But if your looking for some funny clever bullshit check out my "Some Sex Freestyle" it's a lighter toned verse, but all the bars are streched cause I was writing it in e-mail I usually write on paper or within this little message box that I'm typin in now, if I don't do that I tend to strech bars like in the "Some Sex Freestyle". Thanks to everyone else as well that gave me feedback I apperciate it.
                          The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

                          I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

                          With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


                          Got It?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Rhymez_Internal
                            I just like to keep it honest.
                            And you're suited for that. The second verse definitely proves that because it's the truth and I personally think that's all you need in this case because you managed to put it together well. No need for the complexity even though it might make you better, but it might not suit you and change your style into something you don't like. You got your own rhyme style.

                            Definitely not a perfect song, but probably you should just continue to get better at what you're good at, get rid of what's bad (There MIGHT be lines that are considered corny), and add more stuff if you feel like it (like the stuff Frozen said), but make sure you handle them well. I wouldn't say they're requirements so don't worry.

                            Be easy. Peace.
                            P!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              ^ well said. You know what really get's my boxers in a twist to? It seems like everyone is expecting greatness every single time ya know? I'm not mad at anyone, but everyone really needs to give off this "I wanna see the perfect rapper" tip cause it's never going to happen. Who could ever say all the right lines, who could ever present every situation in a fly way? Ya know, just take people for who they are follow them through there progress and there wack tribulations. Loyalty people loyalty.
                              Last edited by New Guy; 04-17-2006, 02:55 AM.
                              The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

                              I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

                              With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


                              Got It?

                              Comment

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