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Memories of Anger (A Lil Sum of The Top)(But True)

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  • Memories of Anger (A Lil Sum of The Top)(But True)

    Hope yall like it......my first time here droppin sum
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    These memories, They like ammo yo my anger//
    I pound mothafukaz, like a Mothafuckin hammer//
    These Momories of an adolescent, growin up ~ on da hood//
    No Father 2 lead the way, Fuckin up ~ my childhod//
    Use to wake up, around me ;beer cans on the floor//
    scattered like leaves in the fall, from the bed to the door//
    My so called "Dad" was an abusive alcoholic//
    Im surprised i wasnt born retarted, but changin topic//
    These are juss memories of an ~ ungrowned teenage boy//
    Sad but no Frown ~ Showned, played on like a toy//
    Memories Stained in the back of my mind//
    used as fuel in fist fights,in time 2 time//
    Now my Father is the streets, My Mother is the hustle//
    But i Scramble in my own Feet, Cuz my anger's like a puzzle//
    This shit makes me get confused, yet stll I concentrate//
    Neva see me Half Steppin, The next Jab is neva late//
    Now im in this room, no walls, no lights//
    Anger's takin over, bout 2 fall, dont have no might//
    i see a gun in sight..
    This shit aint no fun! No one 2 call me son!//
    Point the nine 2 my skull, i pull the trigger 2 the gun//........
    There was no ammo, Cntrolled my self..
    Threw the gun 2 a river, and ranned 4 my own health........
    Gimme feed (0/10) & Fav. line
    http://www.hiphopenvy.com/forums/index.php
    HIPHOPENVY.COM
    DONT ENVY BITCH!
    MY RECORD
    8-WINS
    6-losess

  • #2
    This gets a 4/10, honestly. Your lyrics are far from up to par, but you on an emotional level, as far as the feeling your lyrics give, would definitley be like an 8/10. To really become a better lyricist, you need to incorporate a little bit of wordplay, and multis. But to shine even more, it'd be best to have a metaphore, which I saw you had with the "mother is the hustle" and the "father is the streets" thing. That was well done, but as far as the song - nah.

    You got the topic down, and you stuck to it, but try to incorporate some wordplay, multis, more metaphores, and definitely up your vocabulary. Similies would be nice, too.

    Just keep practicin'.
    Love, live life, proceed, progress

    Comment


    • #3
      ^You're forgetting about Pac. It can just be about the meaning, but you have to handle it well.

      Peace.
      P!

      Comment


      • #4
        thanx... but i was a lil of the top.........
        still uppin
        http://www.hiphopenvy.com/forums/index.php
        HIPHOPENVY.COM
        DONT ENVY BITCH!
        MY RECORD
        8-WINS
        6-losess

        Comment

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