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*******Rate This Freestyle******

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  • *******Rate This Freestyle******

    This is Just a quick Freestyle I made, If I could get a bit of feedback on it, that'd be good, ThX Y'AllZ!! peace

    I watch the sky and bite my lip/The earths tremblin and starts to rip/I shouldnt have taken that last trip/Now I think its the apocolypse/its shit like this/can make a guy like dis/who've never been kissed/get pissed off and slit his wrist/And kill who's on his list/Little man, whos been pushed to far/ never had a bitch, never drove a car/never had a friend/ or caught on to a trend/ No matter what happens, it dont depend/ Ive been pushed and now its the end/ Lootin, bootin, Brawilin and Fightin/ Gangsta warz and graffiti writin/Scorin booty Pussy and tity/ Is how you get along with life in da city
    **Tha New Era**

  • #2
    Hmmm

    its okay but a bit simply, make yr lines more complex and longer and u should smoke the battles

    Good Luck
    Only a few of us left

    Comment


    • #3
      Thx 4 da advice Sween, Ill try anotha one see if itz a bit betta, I wont put alotta effort in or nuttin, just a little quickie tho
      tell me what ya think

      I rip up a freestyle, and ask for a report/the answer I get, is the verses are to short/ I have to improve my status in the freestylin court/ get out on the boards, what am I waitin for// If I cant rap what should I do with my life/ I can think of only one thing involving a gun, sword or a knife/ Got nothin else goin right now in my favour/ Taste my bloodspill, but whats my favorite flavour/ I see a bitch fall from the sky, I jump and save her/ rip down her pants kneel down and shave her/ Get a plastic surgeon to rearange her/ Motha fuckin sexy bitch thats a perfect stranger// Roamin the streets out late at night and unarmed/ Causes open doors for me to get mugged up and harmed/ Get fired at by a blank and hurt by the shard/ Face to face with gambit, he makes me eat his card/ I'm gettin no respect and regard, I must be a retard/ I mean in reality it cant be that hard/ To play the rap game right and keep my guard

      I wrote it fairly quickly but give us some feedback on dat as well y'all
      Peace :D
      **Tha New Era**

      Comment


      • #4
        Good

        I liked that one better, u now want to go in to the battles and start battleing

        GOOD LUCK
        Only a few of us left

        Comment


        • #5
          ill

          that was tight, but you need to have more of a basis and explanation in your verse. It was overall pretty much better than a lot of people on this damn site.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thx 4 tha opinions!! come on peepz keep tha feedback comin, I wanna know if my shitz good, and if not how I can improve it!!!
            Peace Out'n'shit
            **Tha New Era**

            Comment


            • #7
              eh yo!

              U got a tite style dawg! Your gonna do great. MAke some challenges!
              My shit my way, so fuck off!

              Comment


              • #8
                Thx dawg, Yeh I wanna get out dere in some Battlez Fo Sho
                Come on y'all peeps tell me wot y'allz think of my shit
                Peace :D
                **Tha New Era**

                Comment


                • #9
                  LIKE MY BROTHER ONCE TOLD ME....
                  "KEEP AWAY FROM RHYMES THAT PEOPLE WILL THINK OF EVEN BEFORE YOU DO" I'M TELLIN YOU THIS COZ YOUR FLOWS SOUND THE SAME, I AINT TRYIN TO DISS YOU OR ANY THING BUT JUST TRY KEEPIN AWAY FROM WORDS THAT RHYME THE SAME LIKE "FLAME, SAME, DAME" SHIT LIKE THAT DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
                  WELL JUST GIVE IT A GO AND YOU WILL IMPROVE........ BEST OF LUCK TO YOU MY BROTHER!!!!

                  SIMPSON>MAD MAORI!!
                  EAST TO THE WEST....YO WE BE THE BEST AINT NO CONTEST ON THE MUZIC WE STRESS, WE ON THE PROWL LIKE A WOLF PACK WIT A SIX PACK EACH WE BUST BACK FIRST BLOOD AND THATS THAT......!!!!!!!

                  OJ SIMPSON ALIAS MAD MAORI!!!

                  Comment

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