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Verse plaz check it n leave thoughts

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  • Verse plaz check it n leave thoughts

    Im the most messed up orderly person like last name first
    Nobody understand me worst meets worst they'll get it when they see my hurst
    So with his words twist'em half act like they miss'em
    The other diss'em n dissmiss him, in the order just listen
    In the commmecial realm take the artist controversial helm
    Twist'em around Sell'em so before it go down, tell'em
    Save they soul, cuz the world jus gettin cold
    Dont do what your told, jus do what you owe
    To yourself and family fuck society All they do is lie to me
    N put me in poverty but it dont bother me (used to it)
    All the violence becomin visible but its not yet armageddon people
    But its gettin to be good vs evil, lord we need a sequel
    All the guns n drugs on the street, misunderstood words like encouragement on beats
    Warfe got thugs grippin heat, jus wonder could herb bring the imminent defeat
    Every generation wants to be the last, yet none ready to pass
    Always stayin steady on task, i aint scared dead me on blast
    Last edited by CT9; 02-02-2007, 04:05 PM.

  • #2
    Mediocre except for that fourth line; the last half or so really seemed like you ran out of steam.

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    • #3
      aight everyones got an opinion

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      • #4
        yeah man i did jump off a little harsh, the first half is definitely hot enough, but you seem to lose rhythm and focus after the armageddon line

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        • #5
          uppin

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          • #6
            I'm not really feeling it to be honest, I feel you've got potential but you subject matter hardly strays away from what you always do. Plus your thoughts seems cluttered like you only got half of what you wanted to say in.

            I would say try and paint situations better, tell a story about the things your stating. Like OK, you in poor living conditions, no food, & have to pack a gun paint a mini motion picture.

            Like ugh... A quick example

            Stepped out ta face the world amongst stained concrete,
            Tired as ever cause I can't get no sleep, not enough blankets,
            Can't pay the heat, it raining constant no sense to weap,



            ^Something like that... I don't know I kind of stuck on dumb right now.


            If this helped any glad it helped, if not sorry it didn't I tried.


            Return the favor? And peep one of the two drops I posted.



            Cheers,
            Rick.
            The Silver Tounge Troublemaker

            I'm Kobe Bryant Ready

            With This Ego I Can Stand Here In A Speedo And Get Looked At Like A Fuckin' Hero.


            Got It?

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            • #7
              alright thanks for that feed Im gonna try that.

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