Verse plaz check it n leave thoughts

Im the most messed up orderly person like last name first
Nobody understand me worst meets worst they'll get it when they see my hurst
So with his words twist'em half act like they miss'em
The other diss'em n dissmiss him, in the order just listen
In the commmecial realm take the artist controversial helm
Twist'em around Sell'em so before it go down, tell'em
Save they soul, cuz the world jus gettin cold
Dont do what your told, jus do what you owe
To yourself and family fuck society All they do is lie to me
N put me in poverty but it dont bother me (used to it)
All the violence becomin visible but its not yet armageddon people
But its gettin to be good vs evil, lord we need a sequel
All the guns n drugs on the street, misunderstood words like encouragement on beats
Warfe got thugs grippin heat, jus wonder could herb bring the imminent defeat
Every generation wants to be the last, yet none ready to pass
Always stayin steady on task, i aint scared dead me on blast

[moxie]

Mediocre except for that fourth line; the last half or so really seemed like you ran out of steam.

[CT9]

aight everyones got an opinion

[moxie]

yeah man i did jump off a little harsh, the first half is definitely hot enough, but you seem to lose rhythm and focus after the armageddon line

[CT9]

uppin

[New Guy]

I'm not really feeling it to be honest, I feel you've got potential but you subject matter hardly strays away from what you always do. Plus your thoughts seems cluttered like you only got half of what you wanted to say in.

I would say try and paint situations better, tell a story about the things your stating. Like OK, you in poor living conditions, no food, & have to pack a gun paint a mini motion picture.

Like ugh... A quick example

Stepped out ta face the world amongst stained concrete,
Tired as ever cause I can't get no sleep, not enough blankets,
Can't pay the heat, it raining constant no sense to weap,



^Something like that... I don't know I kind of stuck on dumb right now.


If this helped any glad it helped, if not sorry it didn't I tried.


Return the favor? And peep one of the two drops I posted.



Cheers,
Rick.

[CT9]

alright thanks for that feed Im gonna try that.