16 bar introduction

[moxie]

A demonstration on how I extend a metaphor
The combination of ideas intended to restore
illumination to the minds defended to the core
on relations to which they're blind, an end i do it for
you see the heat of the beat serves to melt my brain
the sensation of creation of rhymes is close to pain
but my liquified mind continues to fall like rain
and flows naturally out my mouth like i'm sayin my name
via sonic vibration through the air into your ear
swimmin in a metaphorical sea of what you hear
my flow is designed as a dip for your mind
to survive the daily grind without bein left behind
instead of treadin stagnate ponds with no particular headin,
you travel down the river of thought i got you're gettin,
lettin no interruption invade to fade the goal i'm settin,
to melt you mind amidst a mix from moxie, you just met him

[Jay_Masta_Jay]

One day on block i was walking by
2 double barrel shot gun talk figures was high
as i roll by i gotta look threw my rearview now
cause when ure smuthered in duck table no 1 can hear u how?
did it get 2 the level of a constant shovel
some many tears
so much concern as weed burn but i aint got any fears
except a greater power that can davour
and dont talk about money homie cause i make the hole strip shower
back in a hour cause im on a few hits
been here and there yesterday i probably seen the biggest tits
and blunt lit thinking im in heaven
tell i waken up from dreaming gangstas skeeming and i just heard on the news there was a 187

[nemracSD]

Yeah mutha fuckin' next bitch how many thesauras did ya need to say tjat shit

[moxie]

Yeah mutha fuckin' next bitch how many thesauras did ya need to say tjat shit

none fool

[CT9]

that shit was nice...reminded me of canibus

[I_am_Demik]

Yeah mutha fuckin' next bitch how many thesauras did ya need to say tjat shit

lmao, just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean everyone else doesn't either.

Nice, Moxie.

[moxie]

Thanks, I was worried that his response would be indicative of the rest of the forum's attitude.

That's the best I've got so far though, some of my other stuff is nice but not for 16 lines straight.

here's one off the dome, except for the lines that are in my head you know:

More intimidating than an Aggrocrag
no debating the attraction of electromag-
netism fascinating like a prism
harnessing the power of nuclear fission
it's evident that prevention's an impossible mission
busted rhymes, bustin out of a plain world prison
evidence is empirical of a lyrical miracle
let me know if you feel a cool flow like a wave pool
words prophetic and powerful
like the sun's gravitational pull
you're gonna die, have you admitted it yet?
every day feels like playing russian roullette,
or is it roo-lay? but your brain's the bet,
i don't accept it but i expect it why would i be excepted
see I don't believe in heaven and I don't believe in hell
well what's left except a void, as best as i can tell
so yeah i admit it this fear of death i can't get rid it
but i guess i gotta learn to come to terms with it

[Wario]

i thought it was wack.

[Rac]

^all he does is complain

[New Guy]

It's defiently dope I liked the second shit staight off the dome it was ended well. You've got an extensive vocab that can either build you up or tear you down.

To be honest I get what your saying but most people who listen to music wanna kick back and relax, not strain there ear to figure out what your point was.

It seems like your aiming for the underground appeal and it's good music I'd just say, do this but not all the time. Most people won't listen through a whole disc of super technical lyrical shit, trust me.

If you can string like 13 track together and fuse like 3-4 tracks like this in you'll be set, because no one can say your pop or weak with the skills but they won't feel drained after they listen to your record.


Just my 2 cents your above average for a newbie was a above average as far as this board concerned.


Return the favor and check out my two latest drops?


Cheers,
Rick.

[moxie]

Here's something lighter

My mind is quick
like lickety split
your rickety shit
can't compete you're defeated 'cause
i'm sick when i spit
kind of a trick, i admit it
if it was hard i never did it
never ever, attention span sever
but my first flow was good and then i got better
like drinkin clear cold liquor,
my mind got sicker,
like snap, a bic flicker
flame to spark a wick
i can blow up like a bomb or slow like oil slicks
so how's it gonna be you may get burned by me
better than a VD, and plus my shit is free

[DeVere]

its nice, sound good if recorded over a beat

no offense, but it does look like u used a dictionary tho

[Axis]

^^
Well all words come from it.

[MC-Curlz]

moxie - Well Written Rhymes Can You Deliver Them Over A Beat Though Or Do You Not Have Recording Equipment Etc? Let Me Know If You Do Record

[moxie]

No, I don't record, I just started writing.

No, I don't use a dictionary, I'm just a fucking beast with vocabulary. Is it bad that it looks like I did?