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i know dis is sh*t.

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  • i know dis is sh*t.

    no 1 knows wot kinda sh*t im in/ma life's done in/its in da bin/its trash/ive been slashed/dats rite/im bleedin/theres no relievin/for pain like dis/dismissed/from fun, pleasure/and from gain/alone/ im like sh*t stinking/for far too long/ill go/goin/gone/alone/wit no one to turn to/like dat kid from secondry skool/runnin round with a parker pen/all she wnted was some friends/ my familys fuc*ed/like my eyebrows/they've been plucked/from the gates of hell/i fell/deeper in the well/like a pit/cold/i get old/wonderin if its my time to go.

    its not long. plzzz give some advice, as u can c, its needed.
    *~CHINK GIRL FO LIFE!*~

    http://sugadolls.homestead.com/files/sci21.gif

    http://www.angelfire.com/pa4/cooldoll/images/sil33.gif

    SPANK MEH!

    [color= red] GO ON, I DARE YA![/color]




    wheres ma Mr. Right?

  • #2
    hey plzzzz give me ur comment on this.plzzzzz!!
    *~CHINK GIRL FO LIFE!*~

    http://sugadolls.homestead.com/files/sci21.gif

    http://www.angelfire.com/pa4/cooldoll/images/sil33.gif

    SPANK MEH!

    [color= red] GO ON, I DARE YA![/color]




    wheres ma Mr. Right?

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey, im not dising cause my freestyles need working on to, but i think you could make it better if you put more creative writting in it and metaphores, but you will get better i dont know if your just starting out or not but i did not that long ago and im not that good but ill keep practicing and hopefully ill get better
      peace
      OnE HOTT DiRtYgIrLy

      Comment


      • #4
        DIRTY LET ME HEAR YA RHYME, IM ME

        Comment


        • #5
          thanx for dat piece of advice! ive jus started out, mabe dats y im so shit! dat was jus me 2nd freestyel.
          *~CHINK GIRL FO LIFE!*~

          http://sugadolls.homestead.com/files/sci21.gif

          http://www.angelfire.com/pa4/cooldoll/images/sil33.gif

          SPANK MEH!

          [color= red] GO ON, I DARE YA![/color]




          wheres ma Mr. Right?

          Comment


          • #6
            no your not shit its just everyone needs to work on there stuff ive only had 4 so im not that far ahead of you, if you want to check them out there in the tread "rate me babby" .......tell me what you think
            bye,
            ~JeNnIfEr~
            OnE HOTT DiRtYgIrLy

            Comment


            • #7
              hey thanx again for dat piece of advice, n e one wanna leave summin, plzzz feel free!!!
              *~CHINK GIRL FO LIFE!*~

              http://sugadolls.homestead.com/files/sci21.gif

              http://www.angelfire.com/pa4/cooldoll/images/sil33.gif

              SPANK MEH!

              [color= red] GO ON, I DARE YA![/color]




              wheres ma Mr. Right?

              Comment

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