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yo read and give me MO TIPS cause i really suck

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  • yo read and give me MO TIPS cause i really suck

    yo 2nite aint yo nite, cause yo im ready to fight/
    just know the sound of yo fright, gives me much great delight/
    you thinkin u ill, but dont know i came 2 kill/
    u know u gonna get stuck, right in front ya damn truck/
    and the 'boom' from my base, will slam u in yo damn face/
    i cant explain it much mo, cause i am fuckin ur ho/
    but u betta just know, that u shouldnt provoke/
    cause my intentions are ill,and all i want is da bill/
    yo im talkin bout cash, so i can buy some mo hash/
    i bust yo face on the dash, and blast a cap in yo azz/
    and now im takin yo shit, and i be hittin yo bitch/
    now i bet u do wish, u didnt touch me you bitch/
    here baby hit the bong while the west coast rolls along ~ dre



    peace yall
    ~mike~

    Brain Damage ~ ever since the day i was born , drugs is what they used to say i was on !!!!!

    thre is a place called heaven and a place called hell , a place called prison and a place call jain and IM headed to all of em cept 1!!

  • #2
    Potential

    Yo Dawg U got some potential, flow was aight, only prob was the rhymes were kinda simple and predictable, u got some potential dere Fo sho tho G
    Peace
    **Tha New Era**

    Comment


    • #3
      its OK

      Yo dawg ur rhyme be ok but i really didnt TO BE HONEST like it all dat much!! i thought tha sentences were to short and tha rhymes werent all dat good!! use larger words and MORE metorfors!!
      Well u asked for ops and dat was mine!!

      PEACE
      .: Ruban Bates :.
      --------------------------------------
      (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
      --------------------------------------

      Comment


      • #4
        yo thankz fo the tips guyz ill be workin on it yo people write shit aight
        here baby hit the bong while the west coast rolls along ~ dre



        peace yall
        ~mike~

        Brain Damage ~ ever since the day i was born , drugs is what they used to say i was on !!!!!

        thre is a place called heaven and a place called hell , a place called prison and a place call jain and IM headed to all of em cept 1!!

        Comment


        • #5
          can i ask u somethin G where u get dat PIC under yo name at??
          .: Ruban Bates :.
          --------------------------------------
          (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
          --------------------------------------

          Comment


          • #6
            Tryin to help you out dawg. Use more complex rhymes. And try not to use the same word twice in two lines. Your last 2 rhymes both ended in bitch. Keep working on it though, can only get better right.
            Peace 5 and 92, you're missed.

            Comment


            • #7
              i got the pic at http://www.angelfire.com/pa4/cooldoll/
              here baby hit the bong while the west coast rolls along ~ dre



              peace yall
              ~mike~

              Brain Damage ~ ever since the day i was born , drugs is what they used to say i was on !!!!!

              thre is a place called heaven and a place called hell , a place called prison and a place call jain and IM headed to all of em cept 1!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Kool G thanks fo tha site name!!

                PEACE
                .: Ruban Bates :.
                --------------------------------------
                (BattlE RecorD - 25/12)
                --------------------------------------

                Comment


                • #9
                  yo people give me more tips
                  here baby hit the bong while the west coast rolls along ~ dre



                  peace yall
                  ~mike~

                  Brain Damage ~ ever since the day i was born , drugs is what they used to say i was on !!!!!

                  thre is a place called heaven and a place called hell , a place called prison and a place call jain and IM headed to all of em cept 1!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    hey ur rap was okay--but u need to use bigger words--do u got a rhymin' dictionary? u got skill just u need to make the rhymes a lil' bigger
                    .*`.**n*.*`..:
                    IM me or E-Mail Me at [email protected] or
                    [email protected] about whatever whenever

                    "My words are weapons
                    I use 'em to crush my opponents
                    My words are weapons
                    I never show no emotion
                    My words are weapons
                    I use 'em to kill whoever's steppin to me
                    My words are like weaponry on a record "
                    ---WORDS ARE WEAPONS

                    I'm so sick and tired of being admired that i wish i'd just die or get fired and drop from my label and stop wit da fables I'm not gonna be able to top 'My Name Is'
                    ---The Way I am --MMLP

                    "I came to save these new generations of babies
                    From parents who failed to raise them cuz the lazy
                    So grow to praise me, I'm makin em go crazy
                    That's how I got the whole nation to embrace me
                    And you fugazy if you think I'm a admit wrong
                    I'll cripple any hypocritic critic I'm sicked on
                    And this song is for any kid who get's picked on
                    A sick song to retaliate to and it's called...."--FIGHT MUSIC- DEVIL'S NIGHT
                    "I'm the devil if ever there was such a thing the results of much to many drugs whatcha seen i'ma mind f*ck
                    completely dis-gust-ing" -American Psycho-D12

                    Aaliyah Haughton REST IN PEACE
                    ~January 16, 1979-August 26, 2001~
                    You are missed. :-(

                    Comment

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