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  • plzzz check it out!

    MrsShady dats me/rollin wit my harvey/tall an easy/dats jus the total opposite of me/small an sweet/nice an neat/ people to beat/in freestyley/ my golden dream/scream/ing on stage/like im full of rage/paid/to do ur dirty work/people lerk/in alleys/ u mite try to jack me/da last thing u saw on me/was icy/ON's/devils nighty/step to me/like u all high an mighty/i aint no bitch/not slightly/my talent will shine so brightly/my words hit your face so mighty/i'll leave u cryin

    couldnt think of n e more! plzzz say this is an improvment!!!
    *~CHINK GIRL FO LIFE!*~

    http://sugadolls.homestead.com/files/sci21.gif

    http://www.angelfire.com/pa4/cooldoll/images/sil33.gif

    SPANK MEH!

    [color= red] GO ON, I DARE YA![/color]




    wheres ma Mr. Right?

  • #2
    plzzzzzz reply bac! i need some HELP!!
    *~CHINK GIRL FO LIFE!*~

    http://sugadolls.homestead.com/files/sci21.gif

    http://www.angelfire.com/pa4/cooldoll/images/sil33.gif

    SPANK MEH!

    [color= red] GO ON, I DARE YA![/color]




    wheres ma Mr. Right?

    Comment


    • #3
      ...

      Thats OK but you should use longer bars and need to improve your vocab a bit. Just keep trying and your shit will start to improve.
      Inferno
      --Always blazing--


      So how many rappers do you know like this
      Always claimin' that they ride
      But they really turn bitch
      It don't make sense
      Either you a soldier from the start
      Or an actor with a record deal tryin' to play the part - Xzibit

      Comment


      • #4
        It was ok

        TIPS:

        make ur verse's longer with better vocab/
        coz thats 1 of tha thing thats makes ur rhymes bad/
        use a different rhyme flow, try it, its mad/
        although it was an improvment,to ur last one/
        dont worry though u will improve ur rhymes, on an on/
        by the way, r u wearing a THONG!!!!!!!




        Peace
        Only a few of us left

        Comment


        • #5
          thanx for dat ill keep dat in mind/
          as 4 wearing a thong../
          bitch kiss my behind!/
          how do i make it longer?/
          and make my lyrics stronger?/
          plz reply bac/
          cos i know my shit is whack!
          Last edited by MrsShady; 08-08-2001, 12:22 PM.
          *~CHINK GIRL FO LIFE!*~

          http://sugadolls.homestead.com/files/sci21.gif

          http://www.angelfire.com/pa4/cooldoll/images/sil33.gif

          SPANK MEH!

          [color= red] GO ON, I DARE YA![/color]




          wheres ma Mr. Right?

          Comment


          • #6
            ...

            That was pretty wack compared to others Ive seen in the forum...BUT...it can be improved...make bars longer, use bigger and better vocab and not always simple words cuz it makes the flow better if you do it right...and in freestyles bars dont usually have 1 or two words, so turn bars into full setences and then see how you do

            PeAcE

            Comment

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