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My first attempt at freestyle...

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  • My first attempt at freestyle...

    lemme know how sh!tty it is... was bored one day and wrote it while at work...

    i'm about to snap, destroy, pump the glock and employe.
    filthy mutherfuckers makin records like toys.
    shitty tits, droppin a fifth on this bitch.
    about to breakup to makeup and other stupid shit.

    so before you recollect, come around i break ya neck.
    straight up, hate up, flippin it around till we make up.
    it's time ta wakeup and realise, all eyes fortified.
    strung with pride, when we come alive and decide.

    I'm not wanting what i got, or getting what i want.
    I kill all you little fuckers when i plan out my plot.
    oh shit it's workin, i ain't jerkin.
    pullin and smirkin, i was just about merkin.

    fuckin you up in ya brain when i'm flirtin.
    stickin and hurtin pullin of ya shirt-in.
    rip it in tight till day light and it's mervin.
    trippin and jerkin, fuck it i'm lurkin.


    meh... i'm was messin around... feedback if ya want...

    oh, is my first post... hey all

  • #2
    not THAT shitty lol...some stuff was too basic, some was a lil dumb, but for a first it was definitely ill, and if you totally free'd it, then no doubt it's good, rah? peace


    R.I.P J-Unit



    I.D


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    • #3
      cool cool. thanks for the reply.

      I'm startin this mainly as a hobby... somethin to channel my thoughts. I'll probably never be half as good as anyone on here.
      at the same time tho, it's good to get some feeback.

      Comment


      • #4
        truthfully...

        shit wasnt terrible. not bad for a first, but also didnt have much purpose. all tho it was simple and everything, it sounds like you know what youre doin. some of the wordplay is what catches most people's ears without them knowin, like

        about to breakup to makeup

        or

        i'm about to snap, destroy, pump the glock and employe.



        i dunno. shit like that gets stuck in my head sometimes. you have potential tho. just think of a topic that you feel and spit towards it. work on your vocab and complexity of rhymes. peace.
        ~~~2 X PLiCiT aka Shockwave~~~
        "SHOCK 2 THA SYSTEM"
        LOOK FOR THE ALBUM THIS SUMMER!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: truthfully...

          Originally posted by 2 X PLiCiT
          shit wasnt terrible. not bad for a first, but also didnt have much purpose. all tho it was simple and everything, it sounds like you know what youre doin. some of the wordplay is what catches most people's ears without them knowin, like

          about to breakup to makeup

          or

          i'm about to snap, destroy, pump the glock and employe.



          i dunno. shit like that gets stuck in my head sometimes. you have potential tho. just think of a topic that you feel and spit towards it. work on your vocab and complexity of rhymes. peace.
          cool cool. That's what i thought the whole time.
          I lack alot of complexity. I'll probably post other random sh!t that i've come up with some time soon... You guys arn't too harsh on the newb.... lol

          thx

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by D GreE
            I liked it. I liked the flow. good stuff. keep workin keep elevatin. one thing tho, you sed it was yer first attempt at a freestyle, but then u sed u wrote it down at work, which wouldnt make it a freestyle. jus wondering. but either way it was good. keep it up
            Yeah. I was thinkin up different stuff, when it came up I tried rememberin everything I had said and jotted it down as best possible.... But yeah, know whatcha mean.

            Comment

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