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introducin myself

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  • introducin myself

    this is a lil rhyme that i wrote to introduce myself cuz some (most) of the p-ple on here don't know me. tell me what ya think bout it n tell me what i can do to make it better.

    Shady Grl, the Cartel memba known as the retaliator
    a hard core rappa chick thug lovin playa hater
    imma well known almost famous ninth grada
    just like nate dogg n warren g a tru regulator
    rippin up weak mc's as if i was a gladiator
    these p-ple be hatin on me cuz of my skills
    cuz some day it'll be makin the dollar bills
    n my words will mess em up worse than a couple of 40s mixed with ecstasy pills
    till i met these cats i never knew my words could kill
    it kills em like a Nazi would kill a fag
    leavin em lying down in a body bag
    n hangin from their foot is a toe tag
    now you know what my words could do
    so don't mess or it could happen to you

    tell me what ya think.
    ~Shady Grl~
    The Cartel First Lady
    Cartel 4 lyfe n even longa!

    SHOUT OUTZ: Underworld, LL, Nafareus, West Side aka LDM, Pezza, DH88, the rest of tha Cartel, Bigg T, XeroXL, Big Proof n the rest of D12, n all the dirty headz in Fall River!!!

  • #2
    feedback plzzz

    ayo can i get some feedback?!?
    ~Shady Grl~
    The Cartel First Lady
    Cartel 4 lyfe n even longa!

    SHOUT OUTZ: Underworld, LL, Nafareus, West Side aka LDM, Pezza, DH88, the rest of tha Cartel, Bigg T, XeroXL, Big Proof n the rest of D12, n all the dirty headz in Fall River!!!

    Comment


    • #3
      yo it aint bad

      just lettin ya no yo shit is ok
      girls (y'all a some god damn girls)
      why do you act this way? (why do you act this way, huh?)
      why do y'all act like fuckin sissies you pussies keep talkin shit behind my back you just some bitches for that and we all know (we all know)
      how fuckin cowards roll (keep rollin rollin rollin)
      and fuckin britneys who pretend to be down but as soon as someone calls you out you put your tail between your legs and bow down

      Fuck Bizkit

      DoggZ:

      X-TACY
      J-Dogg

      -------------battle stats-----------------
      WINS
      Chronic-X (3-0)

      LOSSES
      kk420(5-0)

      Comment


      • #4
        u know wut i think, but use more multis
        Elite Tournament 2 Champion
        like 110-19 or some shit
        blah blah blah and all that other shit we used to put in our sigs lol
        [insert net crew banner here]

        Comment


        • #5
          aight thanx guys.
          ~Shady Grl~
          The Cartel First Lady
          Cartel 4 lyfe n even longa!

          SHOUT OUTZ: Underworld, LL, Nafareus, West Side aka LDM, Pezza, DH88, the rest of tha Cartel, Bigg T, XeroXL, Big Proof n the rest of D12, n all the dirty headz in Fall River!!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Wow i was wrong about what ah posted in blk princess thread i guess there are more than one hot female netcees on this board men you all r hot keep it up girl

            Comment


            • #7
              thanx!

              thanx fo the props guy. intriquat, c girls can write sum good raps 2. uppin fo more feedback...
              ~Shady Grl~
              The Cartel First Lady
              Cartel 4 lyfe n even longa!

              SHOUT OUTZ: Underworld, LL, Nafareus, West Side aka LDM, Pezza, DH88, the rest of tha Cartel, Bigg T, XeroXL, Big Proof n the rest of D12, n all the dirty headz in Fall River!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                That waz good shit
                keep it up
                DArkneSS
                AKA
                Gpveoz
                UK muthafuckaz!

                Comment


                • #9
                  yo i liked that shit shady grl keep it up
                  peace
                  here baby hit the bong while the west coast rolls along ~ dre



                  peace yall
                  ~mike~

                  Brain Damage ~ ever since the day i was born , drugs is what they used to say i was on !!!!!

                  thre is a place called heaven and a place called hell , a place called prison and a place call jain and IM headed to all of em cept 1!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    aight thanx.

                    uppin fo more feedback.
                    ~Shady Grl~
                    The Cartel First Lady
                    Cartel 4 lyfe n even longa!

                    SHOUT OUTZ: Underworld, LL, Nafareus, West Side aka LDM, Pezza, DH88, the rest of tha Cartel, Bigg T, XeroXL, Big Proof n the rest of D12, n all the dirty headz in Fall River!!!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      can i get mo feedback???
                      ~Shady Grl~
                      The Cartel First Lady
                      Cartel 4 lyfe n even longa!

                      SHOUT OUTZ: Underworld, LL, Nafareus, West Side aka LDM, Pezza, DH88, the rest of tha Cartel, Bigg T, XeroXL, Big Proof n the rest of D12, n all the dirty headz in Fall River!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        good verse, typical begginer one tho, gotta use a wider vocab but other then that it was really tight
                        HoLla

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          a yo for your 1st time it was ill ,like hotacid said just extend your vocab read the dictionary thats what eminem use to do ,and keep workin on your flow read over your ryhmes and make sure there there isnt anything better you could edit into ,but if your just bustin freestyles do ya thing
                          peace

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            thanx fo tellin me what ya think n even bigger thanx fo tellin me what i can do 2 get betta.
                            ~Shady Grl~
                            The Cartel First Lady
                            Cartel 4 lyfe n even longa!

                            SHOUT OUTZ: Underworld, LL, Nafareus, West Side aka LDM, Pezza, DH88, the rest of tha Cartel, Bigg T, XeroXL, Big Proof n the rest of D12, n all the dirty headz in Fall River!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Aight...

                              Aight first off big ups to all female emcees!!! Im tellin you i love seein a chic who can spit!! Anyways heres some feedback girl....Aight for a beggining verse its definetly hot ya have good flow and not too bad ryhmes and shit but you just need to practice ryming more using multi's and using more vocab ya know? Also u should start using punchlines and metaphores to get ya ready for battling and shit that way u can take out some of these doggs up in here cuz from what ive seen after some practice youll be tearing shit up!! Just keep at it.

                              HOLLA
                              d.r.kaos

                              the CURSE

                              Comment

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