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One of my songs....

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  • One of my songs....

    This is a song I wrote, at around...... about 3:00 a.m. when I was REALLY tired..... ^_^U....

    Well, I didn't know where else to post this anywayz, since there ain't a "Written Songs Forum" around here, but I like the idea of having a forum like this anyway. So here's my song, judge it as you see fit, since the more feedback I get the better I'll know how to fix it when I write another.

    Straight To The Trashcan



    4 dates in a week, whats a playa to do?
    When I need help like this who do I ask? you?
    Ha! Don't make me laugh out loud ya crazy mofo
    Just get out the car and hand me the dough, yo
    I need it for tonight, ya know?
    I'm outta cash at the moment, no change or pesos
    so I guess nothin to eat, I'm not rich I'm gettin broker
    I'm not eatin and gettin fat like Al Roker
    while I fucked your girl she sucked my dick and it choked her
    Is it hot in here to you? Not to me, I'm feelin chills brrr
    Oh shit look at the time its 2:30
    I've already take a shower, I ain't dirty
    I hate it when my girld gets drunk, she gets flirty
    she flirts w/any guy, even it he ain't purty
    I got a letter from the state to be in a jury
    but I got time don't worry I ain't in no hurry
    I got a friend named Maximus but not one named Murry

    Chorus:
    So after I finish this rhyme its goin down
    Its gonna make all you fuckers sad, even you clowns
    so post on a message board or some shit and get banned
    cause after this rhyme yours is straight to the trashcan....

    Hey yo in 4 months my birthday'll be gone
    faster than Sally Struthers can eat 100 bon bons
    I'm playin a game without it bein on
    fuck a damn lake, I'll swim in a pond
    rhymin like this puts my mind at ease
    mainly cause I got a mental disease
    Its paralyzin me like Christopher Reeves
    And comin thru my brain to make me sneeze
    I'm cold while wearin a coat w/no sleeves
    Whats wrong w/me? Whats wrong w/you?!
    your holdin your breath and turnin blue
    sneezin and coughin like you got the flu
    Whats a guy like me to do?
    when a sick chick's layin on the floor in his bedroom
    I hear bombs goin BOOM!
    and now I'm off the back deck leapin
    usin binoculars for far away peepin
    I was out late last night creepin with ya girl
    I took for a spin in my car
    drove along but didn't get far
    A light came on sayin the door was ajar
    opened it up and there was her dog!
    ah well she hitchhiked home and made a big fuss
    I guesss thats all for the best cause

    Chorus:
    So after I finish this rhyme its goin down
    Its gonna make all you fuckers sad, even you clowns
    so post on a message board or some shit and get banned
    cause after this rhyme yours is straight to the trashcan....

    Damn critics makin a huge ass fuss
    bout my rhymes and lyrics and such
    go ahead make fun of me if you must
    I'll just shoot your ass on the city bus
    my thrymes'll make yours go straight to the trashcan
    If you need help writin em I'll give you hand
    girls stop lookin now cause you found your man
    Hey yo I'm over here upin the stands!
    I'm fixin to jump I just hope I land
    on my feet and not my head
    if I don't I'll be dead
    Hey parents may spaz out at my ability
    but I'll just bust their shins and the caps of their knees
    punch em in the face till their nose starts to bleed
    Hey they just asked for more then that actually need
    But ah hell I got so me words they oughta heed

    Chorus:
    So after I finish this rhyme its goin down
    Its gonna make all you fuckers sad, even you clowns
    so post on a message board or some shit and get banned
    cause after this rhyme yours is straight to the trashcan....

    Copyright Coal Arcane 2001


    Enjoy! :P

  • #2
    Alright...... could I have some feedback up in here?

    Comment


    • #3
      Well 4 years later... yeah.

      quite good.

      Comment


      • #4
        its ight ...keep rockin dat shit...peace
        New battle Record:
        (don't know my old one)

        .:Latest Blocked:.
        Kid Kash (KO)

        Comment


        • #5
          decent keep em coming.
          Battle Record

          10-0-8

          Comment

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