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[-AnA|2ChY-] Rhyme....Respond Please

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  • [-AnA|2ChY-] Rhyme....Respond Please

    Jack be nimble, Jack be quick/
    fuck the riddle and suck my dick/
    she aint your chick, i made her my bitch/
    watch as i lick her warm, moist clit/
    i go to work suckin her tits/
    as she moans she starts to kick/
    she is soked from head to toe/
    we grind it harder on the soft floe/
    then i asked her if she wanted mo/
    it was too good, she couldnt say no/
    then i gave her one last blow/
    before ya know/
    her boyfriend Bo/
    came walkin in the back doh/
    whipped out the crowbar out of my coat/
    that night ended on a very bad note/
    i tore out his heart and slit his throat/
    i slaughtered his sheep, cow, and goat/
    that is how 1 man died/
    tried to steal my bitch and he got fried/
    my bitch sighed, then she cryed/
    she loved the man i just denied/
    we went on and as the days past/
    each day was easier than the last/
    a man died...cus i wanted sex FAST/

    OK thats it tell me what ya think.....
    [-AnA|2ChY-]

  • #2
    YOU NEED TO USE MORE CREATIVITY.

    EXPANDING YOUR VOCABULARY HELPS ALOT. TRY USIN 3 AND 4 SYLLABLE WORDS, AS OPPOSED TO 1 SYLLABLE WORDS LIKE DICK, CLIT, KICK, AND SHIT.

    BUT KEEP PRACTICIN.

    AT LEAST YOUR TRYING AND WILLING TO ACCEPT CRITICISM. THAT'S BETTER THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE.

    PEACE-JEHU
    I HAVE NO HEART AND ONLY ONE MIND
    TEAR ME APART AND START AT THE SPINE

    Comment


    • #3
      Yeah

      Also try and get some multis in there.
      Status:

      [ Lyrically Ripped Apart ]
      ~ Profanity
      ~ X-TACY
      ~ The Slick Jesus
      ~ DJ Scidazals

      [ Tha Hot Emcees ]
      ~ Prominant
      ~ The Invincible
      ~ Dark-Druid
      ~ PurpleHaze2701
      ~ Eyerone


      My Crew:

      [ Kurrupted Mindz ]
      ~ PoiZonous ExiZtance
      ~ Dark-Druid
      ~ Jehu

      [ Other Doggz ]
      ~ Cad
      ~ The Slick Jesus
      ~ Prominant
      ~ Lyrikally Lost
      ~ The Invincible
      ~ ShAdY D12 DiVa


      Signature:

      [ PoiZonous E. ]
      ~ I am the PoiZonous ExiZtance
      ~ Tha Toxic Death
      ~ I come here to slit wrists
      ~ To strip you of your every last breath

      Comment


      • #4
        wt

        multis????

        Comment

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