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my 2nd drop need feedback

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  • my 2nd drop need feedback

    Yo i droped a first verse awhile ago,like no one answerd,here's my second one.Any feedbacks would be appreciated.

    i'm like a train cumin at full speed/
    there's no stopping me when i kill emcees/
    sinister style compared to your elementary rap/
    i'm mentally shutting you down,have your brain locked n straped/
    dis is like a game of pinball,you're getting wacked around/
    have u collasped n scored a tko the first round/
    48 attacks of lyrical verbal verbs,you cant stand phase 1
    go home and rehease/
    i'm feed up on this verse,tired of being diverse/
    that's why i hang myself screamin fuck the universe/

    Ya i know it's short but any advice or feedback would help.
    Thanks fo peeping. 1

  • #2
    that was aiight for ur 2nd verse. keep on writin' and u'll get there.
    Lyrikally Lost aka Fidel Kastrator


    http://invince.8m.net/dei2.gif

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    • #3
      that was good. i liked that. it flowed well.
      ~Shady Grl~
      The Cartel First Lady
      Cartel 4 lyfe n even longa!

      SHOUT OUTZ: Underworld, LL, Nafareus, West Side aka LDM, Pezza, DH88, the rest of tha Cartel, Bigg T, XeroXL, Big Proof n the rest of D12, n all the dirty headz in Fall River!!!

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