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  • freestyle practice

    feel free to leave feedback - thanks.

    the obsession w/ mortality:

    i lost my train of thought,
    my whole brain is caught in a lapse,
    gaspin for air, graspin for a rock to drop fast.
    1/2 my brain strains for a link to the past,
    the other 1/2 just doesn't think.
    imagine that!
    too many rhymes and lines in my head.
    my head's embedded w/ everything i've ever said.
    i'm treadin on thin ice w/ skates made from lead,
    w/ no escape from the lake's bed.
    i'm headin for the bottom,
    butterflies & the shakes, yeah i gottem.
    and i can't stop 'em.
    i can't shed this inimitable fear
    subliminal voices chantin:
    "jump off the pier, the coast is clear"
    how the hell did i get here?
    suicidal and wishin for a tidal wave to appear,
    to take me to the ocean.
    face filled w/ tears,
    cuz, i'm broke and cut wide open.
    i guess i have a token appreciation for life,
    hence the knife and the weed that i'm smokin.
    it leads to my depression
    cloaked in dark clouds lookin for an openin.
    some sort of direction,
    this crossroads is an intersection
    w/ a path that needs to be chosin.
    the walls are closin in,
    w/ no ends & no friends i'm left hopin...
    i'm a few bullets short of a full clip,
    is there a way out of this?
    cuz, i feel stripped of all emotion,
    except the fear that i'm emotin.
    i've slipped up & slit my wrists,
    the fear is so potent i can't get a grip.
    i thought i could keep coastin,
    but even the dead in the ocean eventually stop floatin...
    i need some sort of vest, cuz i'm so obsessed w/ death,
    & i'll stay this way til my last breath.
    i'll never give it a rest.
    and you can carve that into my chest.
    cuz, me dying is my best bet.
    i know i need my head checked.
    but i don't wanna be a pest for my therapist.
    cuz, i could care less if i die,
    and don't ask me why.
    cuz, i know the world won't bat an eye
    when i reach for the sky...

    peace-jehu

    for the preacha and exizt.
    Last edited by jehurocket; 09-01-2001, 01:59 PM.
    I HAVE NO HEART AND ONLY ONE MIND
    TEAR ME APART AND START AT THE SPINE

  • #2
    it was ok to simple like and it was also to long u got to have something that hits the reader in the first line to make be "holy hell that was so tight i shit a brick" see thats what keeps the reader like really into it u know? its tight but keep it short aight? peace
    defeated list

    dexta- double xl- phizzle- hollow pointz- illest- razael- lyrikally lost- xtacy- sikotic- jady- underworld- peel junkee- purplehaze2701- dj scidazals- ray thunder- catastrophe-millzma$ta- drakk-I.e-freestyla122
    http://www.geocities.com/fusion1121/du7.gif herbs die slow

    Comment


    • #3
      it didnt suck, but it aint tha best i even sen either
      Elite Tournament 2 Champion
      like 110-19 or some shit
      blah blah blah and all that other shit we used to put in our sigs lol
      [insert net crew banner here]

      Comment


      • #4
        nice shit, man

        Hey i'll be honest, that was very deep in places, my man. REAL deep, i am pondering as to wherther this example of masterful prose is too deep and insightful to be properly judged? -lol, just messing about! :D Hey, i really liked it man, as i ALWAYS like your spits. Hit me up on a P.M. if you want to collab with me REAL soon! I've just returned from a brief vacation, and am eager to get back to the grind stone that is this board.

        PEACE TO YOU, DOGG!

        Keep the good shit coming, collab coming soon, if u are up for it man. We'll give a theme -of YOUR choice man.

        P.S: Where in the Hell is Exizt!? I worry about him now...

        One.
        AIM: DarkDruid123

        Record: 17~4~0

        "FUCK Y'ALL!!"

        Comment


        • #5
          my apologies

          i apologize to xeroxl for having an attention span that lasts longer than 30 seconds. so as for shortening it- fuck you.
          i'm not gonna dumb down my lyrics for people who can't keep up.

          as for underworld- duh. i realize it's not the best or the worse. but i've read your shit, and it's tired and played out. you can only talk so much shit, know what i mean? it gets real old talkin about cappin people's asses & gettin all the hoes all the time. understand? i thought not.

          i guess i like more intelligent and original rhymes.

          so when you 2 can come up w/ more original vocabulary, plot ideas, and better structure, then i'll listen. until then, read a fuckin book you ignoramus'.

          peace-jehu
          I HAVE NO HEART AND ONLY ONE MIND
          TEAR ME APART AND START AT THE SPINE

          Comment


          • #6
            yeah fuck u too sorry bitch
            defeated list

            dexta- double xl- phizzle- hollow pointz- illest- razael- lyrikally lost- xtacy- sikotic- jady- underworld- peel junkee- purplehaze2701- dj scidazals- ray thunder- catastrophe-millzma$ta- drakk-I.e-freestyla122
            http://www.geocities.com/fusion1121/du7.gif herbs die slow

            Comment


            • #7
              uh...yeah

              that's what i'm talkin about. nice response. no brain just like usual. little kid shit.

              if that's all you got, i don't have to be worried.

              thanks for comin. and say hi to tim mcveigh.

              peace-jehu
              I HAVE NO HEART AND ONLY ONE MIND
              TEAR ME APART AND START AT THE SPINE

              Comment


              • #8
                i dont have time to fucking make comebacks to wack mcs like u i have a life and im from cali i just live oklahoma so i wasnt here when the bombing happened so there u go
                defeated list

                dexta- double xl- phizzle- hollow pointz- illest- razael- lyrikally lost- xtacy- sikotic- jady- underworld- peel junkee- purplehaze2701- dj scidazals- ray thunder- catastrophe-millzma$ta- drakk-I.e-freestyla122
                http://www.geocities.com/fusion1121/du7.gif herbs die slow

                Comment


                • #9
                  STILL CRYIN

                  you have time to come up w/ wack names to call me, but not to think of a decent response?

                  lyin like 3 dollar bill.

                  i always get 'em.

                  peace-jehu
                  I HAVE NO HEART AND ONLY ONE MIND
                  TEAR ME APART AND START AT THE SPINE

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    reply to jehu

                    Buddah says to think clearly you hav 2 stop thinking/Butterflies,voices.FUCK!the voices.Aint nothin in the ocean.Wipe your tears and remember your token.Pest words put to infest.If the world wont bat an eye when u die ,make a difference! intense dude my sista killed herself last year and i know for her i will cry forever hope u ok.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      thanks

                      styler:

                      just expressing one facet of my feelings. thanks again.

                      peace-jehu
                      I HAVE NO HEART AND ONLY ONE MIND
                      TEAR ME APART AND START AT THE SPINE

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Jehu that was pretty damn nice/
                        but I seen colder shit in a bucket of ice/
                        sometimes u make me fill like taken a sloppy shit/
                        I seen better spit after a bitch has sucked my dick/
                        U say u trying to be original/
                        but u spit the same shit I heard befo/
                        saying talking about killing, death and popping caps in hides/
                        is old when u're sit and talk about suicide?/
                        when it all comes down to it u're stealing Em's style/
                        and don't call it a freestyle when it's been writte for a while/
                        and doesn't it hurt to be on your own dick man/
                        Let me guess your hair is blond and your name is Stan/
                        And anyone who responds to your crap and doesn't say it's the shit/
                        in your mind is a freakin idiot/
                        well cop some damn respect before I break your lil dirty neck/
                        u can't take any bad criticizm but u can fucken give it?/
                        And just because some of us unlike you don't take our time/
                        to search the dictionary and internet for metaphors to put in our rhymes/
                        doesn't mean our skills are whack/
                        don't give hate and not expect to get it back..............biatch
                        De Juan~~~~~~~straight giving it to fools like chicken pox!!!!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          dumb shit

                          you've got a lot to learn,

                          peace-jehu
                          I HAVE NO HEART AND ONLY ONE MIND
                          TEAR ME APART AND START AT THE SPINE

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            man seriously if post ur fucking freestyle ur going to expect critsisim even if its positive or negetive. so its ur fault for fucking posting something that some people dont like and some people that do. so if someone doesnt like it dont get all fucking mad about and start fuckin cry. damn if ur saying that im a crybaby ur the on thats crying cuz ur a bitch ass. and why the fuck were u following me around on the board?? did my opinion mean that much to u?? jesus get a fuckin life
                            defeated list

                            dexta- double xl- phizzle- hollow pointz- illest- razael- lyrikally lost- xtacy- sikotic- jady- underworld- peel junkee- purplehaze2701- dj scidazals- ray thunder- catastrophe-millzma$ta- drakk-I.e-freestyla122
                            http://www.geocities.com/fusion1121/du7.gif herbs die slow

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              yep

                              my problem w you xerox, is this. if it's tight like you said it was, why should i listen to you and make it shorter. i'll be damned if i let you dictate how my rhymes should be done. that's my fuckin problem w/ you. say you like it or don't, but don't get on a high horse and talk shit because i don't want to take your lame advice due to your weak attention span.

                              props to two thirds for droppin the knowledge on "the american dream"

                              peace-jehu
                              Last edited by jehurocket; 09-09-2001, 12:20 PM.
                              I HAVE NO HEART AND ONLY ONE MIND
                              TEAR ME APART AND START AT THE SPINE

                              Comment

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