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Suicide (please rate or something)

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  • Suicide (please rate or something)

    This is a joining of two pieces i wrote last week when i was depressed, i thought they pretty much went together, so i made them as two verses.
    anyways, i hope you enjoy it. It's not what i usually write like, but i'm more of a technical battler anyways.

    I'm making a decision for a recession into depression//
    i'm calling for hell to take me, fuck a blessing//
    sending my soul a message, testing...testing//
    i'm trapped, no religion, this pain is never ending//
    i'm broken, a closed mind ripped open, i'm only hoping//
    that i have a chance of taking my life, and eloping//
    alone with no love recieved, none to give//
    upon nothing, i can't bereave, no will to live//
    would a razor be easier to relieve the tension?//
    or start to pray to what i don't believe, and give God a mention?//
    emptiness blocks my vision, only starts weak wishing//
    that the sunlight can break the darkness like an incision//
    silence is a reprive from the noise of thought and decision//
    the source of my opinion blown like a lifeless mission//
    what is left? a desireless frame, words, my only consolation//
    lack of inspiration, drives me insane through quiet confrontation//
    driven by unrest, left only with another test//
    confusion of those, thinking they're blessed//
    overrun by hatred, evil inside me, starts to infest//
    tidy organisation, while my brain is messed//
    i have nothing to hold me, have nothing to fear//
    eternal blackness, fuck faith, there's nothing to revere//
    what more is religion than a safeguard from anarchy?//
    while pressures and stresses are more than atop of me//
    no more depression, but an infinite compression//
    who needs beliefs when there is a need for obsession//
    this is no more than a line from the mind of a manic depressive//
    i don't need or want help, my feelings make me possessive//
    it's not about living no more, it's a thriving for dominance//
    clip it in, cock back and unload, i'm needing none of this//

    A lost link, no senses between mind and muscle//
    the need for input is a life long struggle//
    but life is no more than a struggle itself//
    the silent body, always screaming for help//
    pain, more of a friend now than something i fear//
    amongst my enemies, it's the only thing felt near//
    feelings of evil, coming from all but cerebral//
    even when crowded, i'm the most lonesome of people//
    i'm not on point, i'm on edge, a blade to ease the suffering//
    detached from conciousness, but awaken by murmuring//
    through a nightmare of stress, comes another examination of tolerance//
    To fight against this, would be a useless act of valiance//
    against an unsurmountable force I cannot comprehend//
    but i can erase the errors of existence if I can make it end//
    ruin, in a millisecond, collapsing the walls around//
    not in the real world, but in my mind...not a sound//
    what is better, to suffer in deafness, and live in silence//
    or to make the removal from lyricism totally, where my life ends//
    i am joined to nothing, nobody to keep me from self destruction//
    but without those i need for some help... i'm fucked then//
    as the sharp metal edge comes closer to penetrate//
    steel to flesh, through the surface it infiltrates//
    warmth runs along the length of my throat, feeling weak now//
    life is drained, coming to the end of my term, blood is like a leak down..//
    flowing everything i have away and out of my structure//
    until nothing is left, all removed through the erupture//
    i'm not praying to any god, being, or higher power as i'm flailing//
    but as my power and strength ebbs away, nothing but wailing//
    from my body, a final cry to ease what pain has come from me to it//
    with a last movement of my hand, i slice the blade through it//
    the end of my life, but to no-one is it a great loss//
    under my dying breath i whisper...adios//

    thanks for reading

    Last edited by Lythium; 06-17-2001, 10:54 AM.

  • #2
    Too long!

    gshit never the less!


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