Sum thing I wrote a few minutes ago

[idegadmaster]

Just want feedbak if its any good or on n e thing else. Written to the Scary Movies instrumental.

I spit subliminal raps that detract fans from me//
Either I’m good or not I let everyone else judge me//
You can try to compare me but apparently I kill everyone who listens to this
My music is like listing to the audio version of the ring//
Its as obscene as rappers criticizing the I-D
Not a license so try me mutha fuckers//
Its who I be, maybe an alias, maybe the fakest//
My raps come out stuttered but still take first places//
I don’t comprehend my words that’s why I say innate shit//
When I spit in these faces, its like spraying them with mace//
I rub salt in your wounds, wound them again and stick your ass in a brace//
Its all axiomatic, I disconnect spinal cords and make them bend like beds by craftmatic//
Lets see who gets the last laugh bitch //
I travel the world searching for rappers to bite cuz I’m a nomad//
Fuck freestylin I go onstage battling with note pads//
You get cut no slack when you don’t rap correctly//
Using words wrong yourself and now ya’ll is being trying to correct me//
The amount of shit I have written and hidden is equal to the number of stolen porn mags that you have//
I don’t need them so I don’t use that//
Your pseudo like fools gold your fools rap//
There’s four of me in one so you cant get rid of us with a whack sound bitch//
My shit is written deep so ill steep and declivitous it gets you falling down it//

thnx if u reply

[Locus]

it could be much better but practice makes perfect

[Symptom]

yea, its not that great, but not that bad, like in between, like Locus said, practice makes perfect. tightest line:

I travel the world searching for rappers to bite cuz I’m a nomad//
Fuck freestylin I go onstage battling with note pads//

[idegadmaster]

Thnx for the advice. N e more creative criticism or whatever would be helprful.

[GZ2525]

the flow needs to get better and the rhymes dont rhyme enough