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Sum thing I wrote a few minutes ago

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  • Sum thing I wrote a few minutes ago

    Just want feedbak if its any good or on n e thing else. Written to the Scary Movies instrumental.

    I spit subliminal raps that detract fans from me//
    Either I’m good or not I let everyone else judge me//
    You can try to compare me but apparently I kill everyone who listens to this
    My music is like listing to the audio version of the ring//
    Its as obscene as rappers criticizing the I-D
    Not a license so try me mutha fuckers//
    Its who I be, maybe an alias, maybe the fakest//
    My raps come out stuttered but still take first places//
    I don’t comprehend my words that’s why I say innate shit//
    When I spit in these faces, its like spraying them with mace//
    I rub salt in your wounds, wound them again and stick your ass in a brace//
    Its all axiomatic, I disconnect spinal cords and make them bend like beds by craftmatic//
    Lets see who gets the last laugh bitch //
    I travel the world searching for rappers to bite cuz I’m a nomad//
    Fuck freestylin I go onstage battling with note pads//
    You get cut no slack when you don’t rap correctly//
    Using words wrong yourself and now ya’ll is being trying to correct me//
    The amount of shit I have written and hidden is equal to the number of stolen porn mags that you have//
    I don’t need them so I don’t use that//
    Your pseudo like fools gold your fools rap//
    There’s four of me in one so you cant get rid of us with a whack sound bitch//
    My shit is written deep so ill steep and declivitous it gets you falling down it//

    thnx if u reply
    We ain't friends tryin' to make amends//
    If you ain't ever stole a gate you can take a fence// -Eminem

  • #2
    it could be much better but practice makes perfect

    Comment


    • #3
      yea, its not that great, but not that bad, like in between, like Locus said, practice makes perfect. tightest line:

      I travel the world searching for rappers to bite cuz I’m a nomad//
      Fuck freestylin I go onstage battling with note pads//
      Love, live life, proceed, progress

      Comment


      • #4
        Thnx for the advice. N e more creative criticism or whatever would be helprful.
        We ain't friends tryin' to make amends//
        If you ain't ever stole a gate you can take a fence// -Eminem

        Comment


        • #5
          the flow needs to get better and the rhymes dont rhyme enough

          Comment

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