Gimme Feedback on this!

[ChronicRage]

Okay, I'm gonna spit this shit like im a fucken rookie/
keep you eyes off my pants, bitch please stop looking/
peepin me with a glance, this dude wants to shoot me/
i'm deep in this trance, and this girl wants to loot me/

I tell these ho's that my flow, comes from poisonous compounds/
I'm quicksilver yo, with rhymes that'll leave ya hellbound/
I been puzzlin a long time, and i still dont got a style down/
but i improve with every line, and really shouldnt fuck around/

I need to stop fucking with these ho's that look like jenna jameson/
and get a good girl that knows the rap game i'm playin in/
I'm out to conquer rappers slay them cuz they gay and hatin/
But i'm hearing the laughter, and pray i dont fuck up my sayin's/

but now a different subject, this is for the sluts that suck dick/
i aint wearing no rubber, chose the wrong man to fuck with/
but i aint complainin, you shouldnt either, since i'll nut quick/
fuck what i'm saying, sit down and take a breather, cuz you in luck bitch/

everyone know im the straight dude cuz i love the vagina/
girl, i dont have hesitation to get my dick in behind ya/
then you yell my name, Chronic rage! please be kinda'/
okay I guess i'll be gentle, searching the clit, hah!, Found ya!/

I must sound like a fucked bitch, i was wrongly guided/
i shouldnt say this type of shit, I didnt,yo' my mind did!/(haha)
but now i'm close to coming, whoops, i got her eyelid/
"Chronic you stupid bitch, look!, Now I'm Blinded!!/

Haha, I did this kinda quick soo this shit is gonna sound a lil too off..i dunno..

[DraZticDaX]

1 out of 10....................ill give it a 7.3

[DraZticDaX]

whats you crew name?

I must sound like a fucked bitch, i was wrongly guided/
i shouldnt say this type of shit, I didnt,yo' my mind did!/(haha)
but now i'm close to coming, whoops, i got her eyelid/
"Chronic you stupid bitch, look!, Now I'm Blinded!!/

I likr dat da most...........

[ChronicRage]

Thanks for the feedback, nah I'm not in no crew, if you mean by my signature, its a line by eminem in that one song 40 0z

[Locus]

ill go with dax on this...hmm...one out of 10.......6.8? sounds about right your improving man

[ChronicRage]

cool thnx loc.

[WHITEnight]

it was okay 7/10

[elemental]

hope its not a pick up rhyme!

[Deuce40]

Out of 10...I give it a 7.8. It was pretty good.

[BulletProof]

8/10

[ChronicRage]

^^ thanks for the feedback guys..