memories

[CrazyAndProude]

seeing that one last moment playing over and over again.
but the moment ends as soon as it began.
I'll visit one more time if I can.
I let the thorns of a rose cut my hand as it falls to your grave.
that's just one more memory I'll have to save.
every night I'll pray.
I will always love you no matter what I say.
only if we could be together for just one more day.
only if there was more memories that I had with you.
you must not run I must be brave.
that's what you always said to me when I was scared.
if only on more memory we could of shared.

[YoUDonTKnoWMeE]

good..the first lines are str88 forward
thats cool, and everyline seems detailed
as soon as i read, i picture the images that your
wrighting...GOOd wOrkk dawgg

[CrazyAndProude]

thanks =)

[CrazyAndProude]

read it!

[Ivan Drago]

I just read a poem with a lot of end rhyme
it made me feel like I was dying
instead I'd rather be crying
or flying
or frying

your talentless ass.

The End and Fuck You.

[CrazyAndProude]

shut the fuck up you fuckin jeliuse homo your just mad you can't write shit without it soundin like a peace of shit from the trash go die basturd!

[CrazyAndProude]

oh by the way I try to make it rhyme so it will sound better.

[RevolutioN]

what the hell is goin on here tonight as i say as usual

[CrazyAndProude]

ummm...ok?

[elemental]

yeh fully wat the heck is going on...u guys are behaving like bro & sis-------each of you to ur rooms NOW!

but i LOVED ur piece...magic...the whole rose, grave & memory concept is amazing.

WIKID WIKID PIECE...just one typo use were not was in the 9th line.

[CrazyAndProude]

I couldnt spell if my life was on the line.lol. 3;-)3

[Ivan Drago]

yeh fully wat the heck is going on...u guys are behaving like bro & sis-------each of you to ur rooms NOW!

but i LOVED ur piece...magic...the whole rose, grave & memory concept is amazing.

WIKID WIKID PIECE...just one typo use were not was in the 9th line.

The "whole rose, grave and memory concept" is hackneyed as fuck. You guys should read some literature.

[elemental]

^ if you think this line to suck extremely,

I let the thorns of a rose cut my hand as it falls to your grave.
that's just one more memory I'll have to save.

.

then yes you should stick to ur literture (whatever kind of literature u'r refering to) i dont need to be educated on what reading material is beneficiary & awespiring for me... i think this is a well kept secret....fuck ur literature!

i appreciate you're suggestion but noway would i even bother to respect it.

[Ivan Drago]

^ You're a dumb fucking bitch, do you know that?

[CrazyAndProude]

^NO You are.....ohhhhhhh...you just got burned.....jk.