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Drunk's Vision Continuation

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  • Drunk's Vision Continuation

    Aiyo I got this in the Freestyle forum, but I figured i'd get better feed in this section. Not to mention it is a piece of poetry in my books.

    I'm Injecting the pain, historically we're insane
    Its like our brains were not divided from what's right to the shame
    Its like we're all just all the same, just players life is the game
    An if we get a group of peeps that diff, then kill'em its plain

    Well I ain't down with that horse-shit, all the government enforcement
    So you better report it Narc, i'm straying off the course, bitch

    ......Cuz I'ma target on the subjects you don't wanna dispute
    The Holocaust an all the slave ships memory can't refute
    The understanding of the blood that humans caused not a god
    The reprimanding an the grouping of a group is so flawed

    So take the elements of thought an wisdom right to the grave
    No Christian need not fucking repent, independance will save
    ........An understand that a belief should follow logic an content
    Follow up within a faith with depth, an fuck those who bought it

    Its like a motherfucking gang that faith inspires in name
    I'm wearing Star of David ***els an watch the tension just reign
    It's like i'm moving past the norm, I just won't cross-up conform
    Its like a fifty fifty chance that Jesus came in god's form

    .......Guess I just live with the old, well atleast I ain't bluffing
    An I will never fucking fold for peace of mind which means nothing
    I will always be a model to myself an my friends
    An I ain't trying to get a fill of life that's weak an pretend

    So fuck the Kanye an the Gibson covetous for their fame
    The Passion that their instigating is like acidic rain

    Cuz I ain't down with the existance as a lonely fucking ***
    That fucking concept caused more harm than good if Kyle only knew

    So now i'm ending with this drop like honey sticking to pots
    An like my father i'll be wealthy, glad its money not shots


    .................So what's that?

    Rhythmatic racism attack
    >>>Intense to the point where you just gotta react
    An you just gotta face facts, fuck blotting out the past
    Cause I'm just down with the right cause, an fuck i'm fighting back.

    Yo fuck I ain't preaching, just spilling my guts
    An I ain't even told the system how it acted a putz

    Yo fuck it this sucks, there ain't no place in the game
    For just a single Jew without a single cross to his name

    I'm going insane; while I just roll with the bills
    It's scary 60 years ago I'd just be hiding or killed

    Holocaust is just a word yet all the anger it brings
    It leads me to a loss of words but fuck the evil an pain....

  • #2
    that is magnificient talent indeed DM keep up the good work
    FUCK YOU BITCH!!!! YEA YOU

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      I'm Injecting the pain, historically we're insane
      Its like our brains were not divided from what's right to the shame
      Its like we're all just all the same, just players life is the game
      An if we get a group of peeps that diff, then kill'em its plain
      Excellent image “injecting pain”. Lovely bit of imagery, like drug use. Good emphasis on the fact that life is like a game, you can be a winner or a loser, but it takes effort.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      Well I ain't down with that horse-shit, all the government enforcement
      So you better report it Narc, i'm straying off the course, bitch
      Two lines imply the build up of anger that’s coming through the piece.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      ......Cuz I'ma target on the subjects you don't wanna dispute
      The Holocaust an all the slave ships memory can't refute
      The understanding of the blood that humans caused not a god
      The reprimanding an the grouping of a group is so flawed
      Great verse. Shows the author wants to touch upon subjects that most people want to call ‘taboo’. In a way personalising the aspect of “blood” in the way of making it a person that we cause to spread through the world. Blood = pain.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      So take the elements of thought an wisdom right to the grave
      No Christian need not fucking repent, independance will save
      ........An understand that a belief should follow logic an content
      Follow up within a faith with depth, an fuck those who bought it
      Angry verse. In a way implies that Christianity will not help those in need anymore. No answers come. Author implies the fact that you only have yourself in the end, you have to depend on your “independence” to survive.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      Its like a motherfucking gang that faith inspires in name
      I'm wearing Star of David ***els an watch the tension just reign
      It's like i'm moving past the norm, I just won't cross-up conform
      Its like a fifty fifty chance that Jesus came in god's form
      Questioning the gospels/bible. Perhaps asking if God does really exist, if so where is he and why isn’t he helping in moments of crisis. Material possessions such as ***ellery don’t help you any further to receive salvation.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      .......Guess I just live with the old, well atleast I ain't bluffing
      An I will never fucking fold for peace of mind which means nothing
      I will always be a model to myself an my friends
      An I ain't trying to get a fill of life that's weak an pretend
      Nothing that isn’t true is gonna influence your life. Needing to stick to reality and realise that this is your life, hurt, pain, feeling emotions, this is life and this is what you have to deal with.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      So fuck the Kanye an the Gibson covetous for their fame
      The Passion that their instigating is like acidic rain
      A hate against celebrities that make claims about being hurt. They have everything they want, people are living in poverty how can they talk.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      Cuz I ain't down with the existance as a lonely fucking ***
      That fucking concept caused more harm than good if Kyle only knew
      In a way makes one think that you want more than just an image, you want people to hear you voice and understand.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      So now i'm ending with this drop like honey sticking to pots
      An like my father i'll be wealthy, glad its money not shots


      .................So what's that?
      Nice use of poetic technique here with the somewhat rhetorical question. Two lines before, creates suspense for what’s to come in the final verses.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      Rhythmatic racism attack
      >>>Intense to the point where you just gotta react
      An you just gotta face facts, fuck blotting out the past
      Cause I'm just down with the right cause, an fuck i'm fighting back.
      Liking the alliteration at the start of the verse. The real anger comes, perhaps the climax of the piece. Puts it bluntly that the author is sick of sitting around taking shit from other people.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      Yo fuck I ain't preaching, just spilling my guts
      An I ain't even told the system how it acted a putz

      Yo fuck it this sucks, there ain't no place in the game
      For just a single Jew without a single cross to his name
      Is the real issue of this poem to do with sectarianism against religions? That's what i thought when i first read down to this point. The troubles of the past that creep up upon each religion as they develop and expand.

      Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
      I'm going insane; while I just roll with the bills
      It's scary 60 years ago I'd just be hiding or killed

      Holocaust is just a word yet all the anger it brings
      It leads me to a loss of words but fuck the evil an pain....
      Overall, very intense and powerful piece once analyzed in detail. May take a few reads to fully absorb what is being said in the poem, but you can feel the full impact of it once you read it a few times.
      ... it's no surprise, that I got lost in your brown eyes ...

      Comment


      • #4
        Shiiit SneakySnufflez that's some of the best feedback I've ever read. I'm appreciating that for sure.

        Comment


        • #5
          You've earned my respect as well. Your poem was superb. I'm not ***ish, but I suppose you don't have to be to suffer a loss of words (if not a loss composure or tears) when you think of the Holocaust......you only have to be human. That was a tragic event in mankind's history, and you did a wonderful job displaying your viewpoint from a unique perspective. Keep up the good work.
          Life is what you make it.

          Comment


          • #6
            Cheers

            Edit---- What must be also taken into account when reading this poem is it is laced with a lot of my own J.ewish pride. An the idea that so many people love 1 J.ew in the past (Jesus) but don't give 2 shits about other J.ews.
            Last edited by Drunk Monkey; 03-29-2005, 10:47 AM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Uppin for feed

              Comment


              • #8
                I definately caught onto that whole "pride" thing, and that was the unique perspective I was speaking of. What I have never understood when it comes to people, is how you can follow a faith (speaking of anyone following a faith) and try to follow so closely in the footsteps of the person on which the faith was based, but then to allow yourself to only see black, white, race, wealth or lack of, etc.....and it boggles me. Why isn't it that PEOPLE can't just see PEOPLE....you know, other humans? I never have got that. Dr. Suess captured this very subject marvelously in the story about the Sneetches (LOL). It's kind of a goofy way to put it, but it's true. In my view...be what you are, no matter who you are. Regardless of how many people look down on you for whatever you have to/choose to be, there are that many more people out there that won't mind either way.....they just like you as a PERSON. I love an open mind.
                Life is what you make it.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I hear ya...................Jesus was a die-hard pacifist and his teachings are founded on turning the other cheek for the purpose of universal brotherhood.

                  Yet more people have died in his name than any other person in history.................It's some brutal irony.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    really good poem your a really good poet,goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo d job keep it up-missy 2;-{}2

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Ehhhhhh, thx 4 reading it Pumpkin queen.....

                      That's an odd name, you must be down with Halloween or some shit.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Drunk Monkey
                        .................So what's that?

                        Rhythmatic racism attack
                        >>>Intense to the point where you just gotta react
                        An you just gotta face facts, fuck blotting out the past
                        Cause I'm just down with the right cause, an fuck i'm fighting back.

                        Yo fuck I ain't preaching, just spilling my guts
                        An I ain't even told the system how it acted a putz

                        Yo fuck it this sucks, there ain't no place in the game
                        For just a single Jew without a single cross to his name

                        I'm going insane; while I just roll with the bills
                        It's scary 60 years ago I'd just be hiding or killed

                        Holocaust is just a word yet all the anger it brings
                        It leads me to a loss of words but fuck the evil an pain....
                        Wow that was great.
                        This part I was practically shouting aloud. You can feel the emotion in this. I enjoyed reading it.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Drunk Monkey

                          I'm Injecting the pain, historically we're insane
                          Its like our brains were not divided from what's right to the shame
                          Its like we're all just all the same, just players life is the game
                          An if we get a group of peeps that diff, then kill'em its plain
                          Thats really good! Good Poem
                          "You wanna be the one in control
                          You wanna be the one who's alive
                          You wanna be the one who gets old
                          It's not a matter of luck - it's just a matter of time

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Appreciate the feed guy's

                            Comment

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