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  • Goodnight Kiss

    Goodnight Kiss

    Two lovers drawn to one another; their unity was fate
    She never met a man, who had seduced her on the first date
    7 months down the line, and he got down on bended knee
    With full sincerity he asked her “Baby, will you marry me?”
    The marriage is validated, and they bear rings to claim their love
    She couldn’t be any happier; he was the only one she thought off

    As the years progressed he started coming home to his wife late
    At first she sat up worrying, though eventually she’d no longer wait
    He’d creep into the bed beside her; she smelled the alcohol in the air
    She’d wonder what happened to her husband. Was he still inside of there?
    The passion was lost, she felt the cold as she hugged herself to sleep
    She’s dying inside from the loneliness, the pain she feels goes so deep
    Trying to overcome this obstacle, and trying to be an understanding wife
    Her soul is broken apart, and she can no longer try to have a life

    The structure of his heart has been modified, there’s nothing there anymore
    Alcohol has won him over, and as he drinks it his spirit starts to soar
    His wife is not of interest to him, he doesn’t recognise her cries
    She tries to make him realise that together they could have touched the sky
    Letting him go she takes the lead, there’s no where for her to hide
    Usually she was okay, as long as her loving husband was at her side
    Her love had a life-time warranty, and as she watches her husband she’d reminisce
    Gently, she squeezed the handle of her suitcase, and gave him a final goodnight kiss.
    ... it's no surprise, that I got lost in your brown eyes ...

  • #2
    I liked that.

    But, I don't really understand the ending to it. It never really implied he was an abusive husband when he drank. Just that he was an alcoholic.

    I don't see why she'd just leave, when a real wife would've tried to speak to him and get her mate the help he needs.

    I guess there could've been more implied in the story, that led her to doing that.. But, from how I read it, the ending could've, or maybe should've been different.

    But, I enjoyed it.

    Now let the night be dark for all of me.
    Let the night be too dark for me to see
    Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Psycho69
      I liked that.

      But, I don't really understand the ending to it. It never really implied he was an abusive husband when he drank. Just that he was an alcoholic.

      I don't see why she'd just leave, when a real wife would've tried to speak to him and get her mate the help he needs.

      I guess there could've been more implied in the story, that led her to doing that.. But, from how I read it, the ending could've, or maybe should've been different.

      But, I enjoyed it.

      i was gonna say that her husband was cheating on her and whatnot else, but I thought it was a bit much, him cheating and being an alcoholic.

      and i didn't say that she was actually leaving him for good, for all you (or the reader) knows, she is simply leaving him for a while to see if he can pull himself together for their marriage/love.

      Honestly didn't have the patience to make it any longer or put in anymore detail.
      I wanted to write something short lol
      ... it's no surprise, that I got lost in your brown eyes ...

      Comment


      • #4
        Well, the suitcase and everything and the tragic description of it all.. made it feel like she was leaving him for good, as if she gave up long ago, and wasn't sure why she was even there anymore.

        Ah well
        Now let the night be dark for all of me.
        Let the night be too dark for me to see
        Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

        Comment


        • #5
          lol you're gonna make me wanna re-write it
          ... it's no surprise, that I got lost in your brown eyes ...

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by SneakySnufflez
            lol you're gonna make me wanna re-write it
            Nothing wrong with that !!
            Now let the night be dark for all of me.
            Let the night be too dark for me to see
            Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

            Comment


            • #7
              .. that was good.. havnt read ure poems in a while ..
              ....
              ...
              ...
              .....
              .....
              ...
              ....
              .... isuru

              Comment


              • #8
                werd........great work, nice to see u back Sneaky.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks Isuru & B
                  ... it's no surprise, that I got lost in your brown eyes ...

                  Comment

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