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My 2nd Poem

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  • My 2nd Poem

    I know that this piece isn't good at all: but i'm trying!
    Feedbacks appriciated!

    Confessions!
    As the daylight slips away,
    And darkness enters my life,
    I long for one last kiss,
    (The kiss of eternal pleasure),
    That lets me off my pain.

    Your sweet gentle lips,
    I remember,
    Pressing down on mine,
    Yours arms around me,
    Holding me, like thereís no tomorrow

    Donít leave me now,
    I have just begun,
    My confession of love,
    To your dying body

    Days gone unwritten,
    And nights gone without sleep,
    Unknown to the silence within me,
    I wouldnít have been who I am today,
    If it werenít for your comforting shoulders

    what have you done to me?
    I look at you with painful eyes,
    Hoping to find a reply,
    But you just stare at the ceiling, frozen
    Dead.

    Donít leave me now,
    I have just begun,
    My confession of love,
    To your dying body

    http://www.d12world.com/board/showth...26#post4315826
    http://www.d12world.com/board/showthread.php?t=245758
    Ruby<3z:
    Oscarpmr,TheMan,Dozmin,Rog,timmy,@#$,Rilana,Stickz2004,Steve--o,civic,DJW,Realize,Crazyandproude,=W=,DrkAim,BiSONN,

  • #2
    woww... u really did a good job

    i like it, especially the first half of it
    R M Nixon


    Turkish Talk, Music & More

    Comment


    • #3
      erm..! ty! :$
      Ruby<3z:
      Oscarpmr,TheMan,Dozmin,Rog,timmy,@#$,Rilana,Stickz2004,Steve--o,civic,DJW,Realize,Crazyandproude,=W=,DrkAim,BiSONN,

      Comment


      • #4
        Nice poem. I liked it alot. Especially:

        Donít leave me now,
        I have just begun,
        My confession of love,
        To your dying body


        It was pretty.
        no dough ho, you can't fuck with me!

        Comment


        • #5
          ty!
          Ruby<3z:
          Oscarpmr,TheMan,Dozmin,Rog,timmy,@#$,Rilana,Stickz2004,Steve--o,civic,DJW,Realize,Crazyandproude,=W=,DrkAim,BiSONN,

          Comment

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