HIP HOP LIFESTYLE

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I Use To Love Him

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I Use To Love Him

    planted seeds in the middle of my soul,
    your words grew itís way to my heart.
    Unconditional kisses whispered on my cheek.
    Speaking on lost languages of
    ::::::::Lo\/e.........

    Slowly unraveling layers of my past
    each article Lies upon the floor.
    Sentimental emotions
    over flows

    Drowning the materials the once
    made us.
    Drenched in lonely tears
    washing away faded memories
    with each swipe of my

    hand
    In.
    Hand
    you and I

    side glancing
    cornering you out
    of my thoughts..

    Keeping me in the distance of.

    I use to love him
    .
    .
    .

    she borrowed my shoes
    and noticed, how wore down my;
    soul has really got

  • #2
    Awesome. Could use some editing... Some words didn't make sense, and it should be used, not use... I really liked it though.
    no dough ho, you can't fuck with me!

    Comment


    • #3
      ^I agree.

      I understood a lot of it, but it needs a little bit of work. Some of the grammar was off, but I liked it. Keep up the good work.
      Originally posted by Realize
      evilspecialist has always been a god of poetry even before his join date of june 04

      Comment


      • #4
        well can you tell me what didn't make sense
        to you...maybe i can help you make some sense of it...
        and what grammer besides i use <--- instead of used
        .
        .
        .

        she borrowed my shoes
        and noticed, how wore down my;
        soul has really got

        Comment


        • #5
          I like it
          Chat with me on person.com

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Tay-Tay
            planted seeds in the middle of my soul,
            your words grew their way to my heart.
            Unconditional kisses whispered on my cheek.
            Speaking in lost languages of
            ::::::::Lo\/e.........
            Slowly unraveling layers of my past
            each article Lies upon the floor.
            Sentimental emotions
            over flow[-s]
            Drowning the materials that/which once
            made us.
            Drenched in lonely tears
            washing away faded memories
            with each swipe of my
            hand
            In.
            Hand
            you and I
            side glancing
            cornering you out
            of my thoughts..
            Keeping me in the distance of.
            I used to love him

            Those were the biggest things I noticed. Maybe there are more.
            no dough ho, you can't fuck with me!

            Comment


            • #7
              emm kay...thanx
              .
              .
              .

              she borrowed my shoes
              and noticed, how wore down my;
              soul has really got

              Comment


              • #8
                the imagery could use a bit of improvement..and the piece lacks fluidity a tiney bit.


                good read regardless.

                peace!
                different

                Comment

                Post ad widget 300x250

                Collapse

                LATEST POSTS

                Collapse

                Topics Statistics Last Post
                Started by thanksyouss, 09-23-2021, 10:36 AM
                2 responses
                13 views
                0 likes
                Last Post hadserub  
                Started by Smilert, 01-30-2020, 09:51 AM
                9 responses
                65 views
                0 likes
                Last Post jimoltem  
                Started by karizzon, Today, 06:09 AM
                0 responses
                2 views
                0 likes
                Last Post karizzon  
                Started by jw123, Today, 02:12 AM
                0 responses
                3 views
                0 likes
                Last Post jw123
                by jw123
                 
                Started by megamalenhancer, Today, 01:41 AM
                0 responses
                2 views
                0 likes
                Last Post megamalenhancer  
                Started by megamalenhancer, Today, 01:40 AM
                0 responses
                3 views
                0 likes
                Last Post megamalenhancer  
                Started by WesleyDrake, 11-30-2021, 07:17 AM
                2 responses
                7 views
                0 likes
                Last Post Qwasap
                by Qwasap
                 
                Started by Deborahlanker, 06-14-2020, 05:43 AM
                15 responses
                74 views
                0 likes
                Last Post Franok
                by Franok
                 
                Started by Tarzan, 03-13-2018, 02:56 PM
                14 responses
                80 views
                0 likes
                Last Post Tarzan
                by Tarzan
                 
                Started by nehasharma16, 11-29-2021, 02:26 AM
                1 response
                5 views
                0 likes
                Last Post BrookeDavis  
                Working...
                X