HIP HOP LIFESTYLE

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I Use To Love Him

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Maxfull Laceman
    replied
    the imagery could use a bit of improvement..and the piece lacks fluidity a tiney bit.


    good read regardless.

    peace!

    Leave a comment:


  • Tay-Tay
    replied
    emm kay...thanx

    Leave a comment:


  • Kali
    replied
    Originally posted by Tay-Tay
    planted seeds in the middle of my soul,
    your words grew their way to my heart.
    Unconditional kisses whispered on my cheek.
    Speaking in lost languages of
    ::::::::Lo\/e.........
    Slowly unraveling layers of my past
    each article Lies upon the floor.
    Sentimental emotions
    over flow[-s]
    Drowning the materials that/which once
    made us.
    Drenched in lonely tears
    washing away faded memories
    with each swipe of my
    hand
    In.
    Hand
    you and I
    side glancing
    cornering you out
    of my thoughts..
    Keeping me in the distance of.
    I used to love him

    Those were the biggest things I noticed. Maybe there are more.

    Leave a comment:


  • Liona
    replied
    I like it

    Leave a comment:


  • Tay-Tay
    replied
    well can you tell me what didn't make sense
    to you...maybe i can help you make some sense of it...
    and what grammer besides i use <--- instead of used

    Leave a comment:


  • EvilSpecialist
    replied
    ^I agree.

    I understood a lot of it, but it needs a little bit of work. Some of the grammar was off, but I liked it. Keep up the good work.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kali
    replied
    Awesome. Could use some editing... Some words didn't make sense, and it should be used, not use... I really liked it though.

    Leave a comment:


  • Tay-Tay
    started a topic I Use To Love Him

    I Use To Love Him

    planted seeds in the middle of my soul,
    your words grew itís way to my heart.
    Unconditional kisses whispered on my cheek.
    Speaking on lost languages of
    ::::::::Lo\/e.........

    Slowly unraveling layers of my past
    each article Lies upon the floor.
    Sentimental emotions
    over flows

    Drowning the materials the once
    made us.
    Drenched in lonely tears
    washing away faded memories
    with each swipe of my

    hand
    In.
    Hand
    you and I

    side glancing
    cornering you out
    of my thoughts..

    Keeping me in the distance of.

    I use to love him

Post ad widget 300x250

Collapse

LATEST POSTS

Collapse

Topics Statistics Last Post
Started by auriculo, Today, 09:06 AM
0 responses
1 view
0 likes
Last Post auriculo  
Started by red rum, 11-21-2008, 01:21 PM
20 responses
619 views
0 likes
Last Post Mark Ultra  
Started by Deborahlanker, 05-26-2020, 02:44 PM
2 responses
12 views
0 likes
Last Post Mark Ultra  
Started by Heridan, 11-09-2019, 02:25 AM
2 responses
27 views
0 likes
Last Post BrookeDavis  
Started by Deborahlanker, 01-04-2021, 12:08 PM
1 response
2 views
0 likes
Last Post Bynarden  
Started by Deborahlanker, 01-22-2021, 08:40 AM
0 responses
1 view
0 likes
Last Post Deborahlanker  
Started by Heridan, 04-08-2020, 08:20 AM
3 responses
67 views
0 likes
Last Post Friese
by Friese
 
Started by AleksShamles, 01-22-2021, 12:46 AM
1 response
3 views
0 likes
Last Post Zavylon
by Zavylon
 
Started by RochelleSmiley, 01-21-2021, 10:12 PM
0 responses
2 views
0 likes
Last Post RochelleSmiley  
Started by FrankCobalt, 12-03-2020, 05:24 PM
4 responses
14 views
0 likes
Last Post Angustin  
Working...
X