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please read my poem...

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  • WhiteGurl4D12
    replied
    thanks tweek, plasma, psycho, and tay-tay... i appreciate the love and support from you guys!!

    Leave a comment:


  • Tay-Tay
    replied
    word ^ the title turns off the reader
    I think this would of been better if you chose different
    words for this. it didn't do much for me, emotion wasn't
    there at all. Maybe you felt what you were writing...but
    yet once again the reader didn't feel it. i am sorry for
    your loss...it's hard losing a freind..keep ya head up and
    pen flowing.

    Leave a comment:


  • Psycho69
    replied
    Yes..

    I really don't like reading others poems when they title the thread as "please read", "Will leave reps for feed", "you have to read this"

    And then to top it off by not seeing them respond to others works in the forum either. If anything, you turn them off from wanting to read it.

    But, anyways, the poem wasn't bad.. I haven't had a death of someone close to me before, so I can't tie myself to this poem in many ways. But, it means something to you, and thats all that matters.

    Leave a comment:


  • Vanish
    replied
    I Like It

    Leave a comment:


  • Tweek
    replied
    Damm people show some remorse. I'm not really into poems, but since this one has alot of meaning behind it. I like it. Good work.

    Leave a comment:


  • WhiteGurl4D12
    replied
    oh....ok.... the bold words were the outline that my teacher gave us.... thats why theey are bold... and like i said... i know there are some flaws... and sorry about me appearing to be desperate...

    Leave a comment:


  • stanssista
    replied
    ^i totally agree wit what starie88 said, gurl it makes ppl not want to read your poem by entitling it "please read my poem" and asking ppl to comment on it 3 times - gosh thats jus desperate! Im sorry for your freind, the poem however is a obvious cliche kind of embarresing to read..

    Leave a comment:


  • Starie88
    replied
    I hate you for not making the title of the thread the title of the poem. I aslo hate you for upping like a meth addict. As for the poem, a cliche topic, flow is confuseing, the bold words are random.

    Leave a comment:


  • WhiteGurl4D12
    replied
    Oh Ok...

    Leave a comment:


  • SneakySnufflez
    replied
    you don't need to up your poem this much when it is still on the first page. read the rules or next time your thread will be closed.

    Leave a comment:


  • WhiteGurl4D12
    replied
    anyone gonna say sumthin?

    Leave a comment:


  • WhiteGurl4D12
    replied
    Please Comment On It!!!!! Thanks!

    Leave a comment:


  • WhiteGurl4D12
    started a topic please read my poem...

    please read my poem...

    well, it goes like this..... my friend died a few days ago... and i wrote this poem..... in my english class we were learning about poems and we had to write one, so i wrote this... weird timing, huh? anyway... i know there may be some flaws, but i wrote it really fast, and its heartfelt...
    IF there was a way to keep you alive
    THERE WOULD be so much happiness in this world
    ALL OF THE WORLD would just begin to thrive
    SINCE THE DAY you were just a little girl
    NOW I know that you are forever gone
    BECAUSE now I know that it was your time
    FROM NOW ON I will look at things that aren't wrong
    ALWAYS WILL THERE BE your kind love and mine
    BUT I will now look to a brighter day
    SO I can carry on your great big smile
    AND for you each day I'll stop and pray
    FOREVER we will remember your individual style
    HOW WONDERFUL the memories that you bring
    HOW GREAT heaven will look with you shining

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